I have one year left at my community college and I don't even know what I want to major in after I continue. I'm currently majoring in Liberal Arts and Sciences/General Studies, but after a year out of high school I still haven't been able to isolate a single interest in which I would be passionate enough to pursue a career.

I would like to have a career that involves being an intellectual. Written expression seems to be my strongest forte, so I would honestly love to make a living by doing research and analyzing, but unfortunately, opinions are more than abundant.

I'm always reading about different topics. Any science involving particles, history in every era, current world events, parapsychology, languages, origins of different religions, different educational systems, etc. I've been enamored with the concept of infinite parallel universes since I was 16, but found later on that said field wasn't too practical for a career choice, either. I used to think a lot about things such as dogmas of early civilizations and how trigonometry and pre-calculus principles relate to the overall physical world, but haven't done so as much for a year or so since I started college. Rarely did I ever actually write anything down, and I still never get around to it, and still don't know why. I keep convincing myself that I'm just not supposed to yet, but I'm starting to feel like I'm just wasting the products of my mind.

Sadly, with all the time I spend thinking and reading, I think I spend just as much time listening to music and playing Solitaire or Mahjong or doing puzzles or whatever. I just don't have the drive to write as a pastime, and sometimes it even takes some effort to stop and read something. I don't know if this is common among my generation, but I'm really beginning to feel like a bum because of my habits.

I've always been introverted and reserved, and to this day I still get more nervous and worked up than I should when it comes to communicating without being able to just write to someone else. Recently, I've started to get the idea that I'm just not cut out to have a career.

I had a talk with a family member earlier today, and he advised me that getting a career to earn a living is the purpose of life. This person wants me to do what I love, including traveling the world and getting the highest degree possible in whatever field(s), and he believes that in order to do that, I should choose a major that I like and for which I can get a career earning a lot of money, so then I can do what I want.

I don't know what I'm specifically supposed to do in life, but I know that I want to have an impact on the world using my mind. I can never come to conclusions about what I specifically want in a workplace environment, because every time I try to sort it out, I find myself grappling with my theory-and-possibility-inclined intuition and my more practical and regimented side. I keep being told that I have my head in the clouds and that I'm "idealistic." What is that even supposed to entail when everyone has their own image of perfection?

I believe that the purpose of life is to learn and to expand one's mind as much as possible. I want to influence the world so it can one day be in a better position than it is now, but lately I've started to feel like I have no skills that would actually be of use to the world. Supposedly, I have to figure all of this out soon, yet in other places I'm witnessing people urging youths not to settle for a career at an early age. Anyone with some good advice, feel free to comment, and don't hesitate to agree that I've got my head in the clouds. I guess.
EmbracetheInfinite EmbracetheInfinite
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 28, 2014

You sound a lot like me. This might sound crazy, but you should be screened for ADD. If you have interests, drives and passions, but cannot get yourself to channel them in a constructive direction, you are probably a creative person who is simply overwhelmed by life's options. Getting treated for my ADD was the best thing I ever did. It allowed me to channel my intellectual interests into a career.

Thanks for your insight. I am able to occasionally channel my interests into something good, but for the vast majority of the time, the fear or lack of motivation actually moving to start it pervades. I'll definitely look into getting myself screened.