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Story Of My Life

So many people telling one what one must do, so much confusion and doubt in one’s mind. So much to choose from, so little time to try it all out. Little girls dream of being a ballerina and little boys dream of being a fireman. Years come and years go by, every year a new discovery made of occupations available. Doctors, teachers, politics, military, show business, engineers and wadda-wadda the whole scenario thing.

People are forever telling me what I should do as a job one day. Granny says a physiotherapist or kindergarten teacher. She use to tell me I should become a chef because I’m relatively good at baking and cooking, but now I’m told not to think about it because there’s no money in it. Mother keeps saying I should fly helicopters, be a teacher or take something in the doctor direction: GP, dermatologist, dietician or pathologist. Oupie (Grandpa) is hoping I’ll become a teacher or psychologist.
The few friends who have seen my sketches say I should be an artist. Some have seen the poems/stories I’ve written and insist I become a writer of some sort. Those are just hobbies of mine. I don’t even draw anymore and my writing is truly sucky compared to so many others. I just know big words that impress people, but that doesn’t mean I’m any good. And it won’t exactly be able to pay for everything. Not unless it hits the world by storm like Twilight, Harry Potter or something like that.

*sighs* I know a job isn’t all about money, but nowadays one can’t not think about it. Living is becoming expensive. For everyone. And that doesn’t help much with the fact that I really, really, really want to travel the world. Yes, lots of people do, and I really don’t blame them. by all means, “GO”! Go and see the beauty of the versatile nature, cultures, people, cities, cuisine and scenery for yourself!

Airhostess? This’ll be me: “Sir, would you like your dinner?” “What are my choices?” “Yes or no.” =/

I’m not mad about the idea of being a doctor and first having to study 7 years, then if I want to specialize, another 3+. Too much behind books. And thinking of books, there’s no way I’m starting a business or being an accountant. It’ll officially drive me to a mental asylum.
Geologist or climatologist? I don’t have the right subjects and even if I did, I don’t see myself working out weather patterns.
Mechanical engineer? Chemical engineer? When I said I was thinking of something such as a chemical engineer, my sister (after years of obsession of being a marine biologist) now is applying to study chemical engineering. Not that I mean to be mean, but I’ve been compared to her since I was born and I honestly do not want people to see me as a younger version of her.
Nuclear scientist? I would have too much fun playing around with an atom that I’ll be the cause of a radiation leak. Plus my country only has on facility where I could possibly study for such a thing and it would cost me my two arms, my two legs, kidney and a sparerib. *sarcastically* Yay! Let’s go for it! =D

Nanotechnologist? I’ll develop little nano-ninja-stalkers…. *giggle-giggle*
Speech therapist? I love languages and how the articulation of words are formed by various people with different ways of speaking, but I just don’t have the patience for it… unfortunately.
Journalist? Photographer? Reporter? Book publisher? If I get one more pitiful look I’ll refer the person to the stupid magazines they love reading and ask them who they think writes the stuff and finds pictures to entertain them with. Anyways, writing for something like National Geographic would be amazing. Plus free travel pass (kinda)!

People always say they can see me working with children and teaching them, but, bleh. I become so drained already when having to work in a big group and I’ll scare the children. Of that I am not lying. I have made children cry even when I was just joking. Crocodile tears roll down their cheeks when I’m near and in view. =/
I don’t know. There’ve been so many things pushed on me and just my own uncertainty that made me have no idea what I actually want to do. But… there is one thing that has always been in the back of my mind.
Before I was born, my Dad left the air-force. He was one of the best. One of the last great fighter pilots. He still flies though – crop spraying during winter months and bombers during summer for a fire fighting company. I have always been around fix-wing airplanes. From mother’s stomach to today still. I’m mesmerized by the beauty of these metallic birds, but even more drawn to that of a fighter aircraft. The last few years there’ve been military aircraft shows and I’ve attended them with my Dad. I could fall asleep by the sound of the aircraft breaking the sound barrier. Hearing one do a flyby grabs my attention and excites me – what engine? how fast? what altitude? what kind of plane? what is it equipped with? I’ve always dreamed of being the one to fly one of these magnificent, fast, powerful machines. Airliner planes, cool. Crops sprayers, cute. But a fighter jet? Now that, that is beautiful.
No, I’m not in it for the money nor the title. I am a girl, yes. What’s your point? Have women not over time proved to be just as able as a man to carry out the same tasks? I’m not out to kill people, no. But I have the kind of personality to protect what and who is dear to me. And it will be on my conscience, mine alone, if I ever did take a life.
I am aware of the dangers flying poses. Dad has been a pilot for 26 and over years. Within the last 6 years or so, the family has had to deal with three horrible accidents involving him flying. I know the stress and pressure it puts on a family emotionally, financially and physically. I know he could have been dead today. I’ll never forget my friend reminding me that I should be grateful he’s still alive. I know the sacrifices that will have to be made, like leaving others behind while having to go away for long periods of time.

I’ve never wanted to get married. I’ve never wanted children. And I still don’t.

I will disappoint people who expect me to do otherwise. I know even if my Dad doesn’t give me permission, I’ll apply….

I don’t know what the future will bring and things could change in an instance. Nothing in life is certain, except for death. And qeez, this is only one aspect about the future I have no idea about. =/ Oh, well. Guess the picture says it better in those few words than my whole messy silly stupidness above.
Floydess Floydess 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2011

Your Response


I'm blah.<br />
<br />
You're blah.<br />
<br />
Let's be blah together.<br />
<br />
*nibbles of cookies, offers you a bite* Vookie piece?

*gives Floydess cookies* Man, I had such a dilemma like this 2 years ago. <br />
<br />
Now, I'm just...blahhh. =/