I Don't Know What It Is I WantI'm a senior in high school in my second semester. The first semester was exciting; I was at the top of the food chain, and soon enough I could high-tail my way out of this place for good. Trouble is, I've always been terrible at school. For example, I have a 2.95 overall GPA. Also, as a senior, you're required to pass two classes to graduate: an English class and a government class. Last semester i was failing the English class. I squeaked by with a C- by getting a 100% on my final. I know doing this isn't good for me, but I've never learned to do well in school, so it feels like it's too late to start now. College would be a maximum of two years of a community college and one year of a state school: it's all my parents can afford, and going into debt isn't an option.
Basically, I don't feel like I would be any good at college because of how terribly I do in high school, and there aren't any colleges that would want me anyway because of my piddling GPA and pathetic course choices. I never prepared for college early in my schooling - I never thought I was going (but that's another story). Every time I search for what I should do if college doesn't sound appealing to me I get the same answer: "do what you love". I don't even know what that is. I think I know what I like, but I just cannot see myself sticking to one thing for the rest of my life. I feel like I can't make a decision because I've lived only in this tiny community my whole life, and have yet to see more of the world; so how could I possibly know what I would want to do?
I see friends and acquaintances reeling in acceptance letters and preparing for being shipped off to their dream colleges. I haven't applied anywhere. I haven't even taken the SAT. I'm just so confused and lost and have no sense of direction whatsoever. The sooner graduation creeps forward, the more it feels like an impending doom.
therealputin 18-21, M 3 Responses 0 Jan 18, 2013