Loser With No Life.

Ok i'm going to start this with things i dont have: a job, an education, friends, any money, a girlfriend, anything even close to a girlfriend, a car, and all sorts of stuff i just cant think of right now. So now im going to explain my situation. I'm a 19 year old kid living with my grandparents because my dad is an abusive drunk and my mom wants nothing to do with me. I dont have a car because i have no money, i have no money because i dont have a job, i dont have a job because i dont have an education. All my friends graduated and have jobs and girlfriends and lives, and it just feels like bullshit to me. Every day i wake up at about 12:30pm and smoke cigarettes and watch tv all day, eat, do some dishes, more tv, i get on the internet and see how other people are living there lives, then bed at about 3:30am, repeat. Ive done that every day for probably a year and a half now. Every now and then i get some sudden spark and try to look for a job, but its pointless. I cant go back to school because i live in a rural area and dont have a car and the buses dont come out here. I cant get a job if i dont have an education, and i have no experience. This is mental torture. I feel like i will never get out of this rut.

bsmoore19 bsmoore19
18-21, M
4 Responses Feb 26, 2010

Hi there<br />
<br />
Move away from where you are living! I used to live in a rural area and after I moved my entire life changed! I went from a middle class suburb ghetto town to the CBD Melbourne Australia and now work in finance. I used to be a waitress!! haha I can tell you from experience that once you get out of the small town, your life will move faster than you can hope for. I am still looking for new friends as well. You never stop looking for something/someone more suitable to you. You change as you get older and want for different things. Chin up, suck it in and move on. x

You can try long distance learning. I do understand what your going through, I'm going through a similar thing at the moment. To do things with your life and to gain achievments requires motivation, confidence and self discipline. Sometimes its esential to get out your comfort zone in order to make progress and I won't lie, the first few steps can be the hardest. Think seriously about what is stopping you and try and find ways of challenging those things. If you really want this, there will be nothing stopping you.

you know you can if you try or are willing to try I am a person who had an abusive parent who let us do every drug known to man before age ten then, I came to a point that i did not wish to be like that parent so at age 22 yrs old I taught myself to read, I went back to school I first started at a job corps then went on to different things. I was a welfar mom for a while for I had my first kid at age 16 when I decided I did not want to be the way I was any more I went to school to teach myself to read then went on to get my CNA then I left that to become the fireman I wanted to be from the time I was 4 yrs old. I broke my back on duty then was forced to retire early so i am now back in school to be a female fire chief. Oh and did I forget to tell you that after we found the damage to my back I was told to give up on the idea of doing the things I once did, to basically give up on walking upright again, I now walk upright and am getting ready to do a triathlon in may. So i know if you are willing to try and work you can do anything you want to.

Have you thought about contacting your local social services to at least get some financial aid of sorts? If you feel like you are depressed (i'm not saying you are) maybe you can also get some kind of temporary help with medical & see a counselor so you have someone to talk to. I've been there. The first step is the hardest, but after you make it, you will be amazed at the turnaround in your life! PM me anytime!