No Life

well, i do have a job, a car, and a girlfriend, but thats about it. i have no other friends at all apart from my girlfriend. i hate my job, the houres are long, the pay is rubbish, its repetative, i spend most of the day sat alone in a crane, its so boaring. i work shifts and im always tired. in my spare time all i really do is watch tv or do housework. id like to find a hobby, but after iv payed the bills i have no money left for myself. my girlfriend has lots of friends, and i sometimes go out with her and them, but i usually just end up sitting on my own. i find that no matter how hard or even how little i try, i can never manage to hold a conversation with anyone. i am doing a home study course and hope to get away from my job soon. i try to think positive and tell myself that when i get a new job ill start going out more, go to the gym, and find a hobby, and may be that way ill meet some friends. but i know im just kidding myself. iv not had any real friends since i was about 10. i few years ago i hung out with a few people for a while, but to be honest, i think they just felt sorry for me so let me hang out with them. they never really spoke to me much, and now dont bother with me at all. i do sometimes miss them and wish that they would invite me out sometime. the problem is i can never think of anything to say to people, if i am talking to someone, it doesnt take long for the conversation to die out, an then theres just an awkward silence. people at work usually just say hello and goodbye to me. they dont try to talk to me, because they probably just cant see the point. i sometimes go on facebook and see that people i know are doing something with their lifes. the people i used to hang out with often go out together. they often write to each other on facebook, but i never hear from anyone on there. it makes me feel upset and angry. they all seem very happy, and one person i knew has joined the RAF. i used to want to join the army, i thought it might help me learn how to get close to people and make friends, but my family talked me out of it. iv mentioned it to my girlfriend and she said she wouldnt like me to join either, so now i think that even if i joined now, id probably lose her, and might not gain anything. i dont know why im so quiet. i think that if i wasnt id make some friends someday. iv been to see a councellor before. he said i was quiet because i had a lack of confidence, but i actually think im very confident. the second time i saw him he said he could see i did actually have confidence and there was no need to see him again. i just wish i could be more talkative. 

ratmando ratmando
18-21, M
1 Response Mar 7, 2010

I am going through something similar except my circumstances are a little different. (Mainly that I do not have a girlfriend) Right now I have having trouble connecting to people and I am seriously considering to join the navy, but I cannot work up the confidence to call the recruiter. College is not enough for me, and maybe a drastic change in life is what some people need.