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These Last Four Days.

My last relationship and first real one lasted from January 22, 2007 to January 25, 2009. Four days ago it ended. Since then I've been trying to express my emotions through this website. It worked for maybe the first two days but now I'm numb. I just want to sit and die. I want to find a way for everyone that does care to forget about me so I can just dissapear.

It's not that easy. Yesterday I felt guilt because the day before I too my pain into my own hands. One person spent hours sitting with me the night before that making sure I didn't hurt myself, and I did anyway. He sat with me again the next night and just held me like the night before and I expressed my guilt to him. He tried making me feel better by going into scientific reasons why cutting makes people feel better with the endorfins and **** but I just feel like that's an excuse for those who do it, including me.

Today I just don't have the energy to put forth the effort for anything. I'm forcing myself even to write this.

Anndei Anndei 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 29, 2009

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I am sorry for your loss. I know it hurts, imagine taking Dyscalculia to fall asleep mixed with captain morgan and Dyscalculia /hydrocodone for the back pain of spondylolesthesis/ broken L5 back disc in the morning so you can walk. I feel all you pain and then some. I'm sorry. I pray to die every day.

I have no energy to even get out of bed, I feel ya sister. My life is done at 48.