I Truly Belong In This Group

Its like schooling overseas again for me.. every time my mum asked why aren't you going out with your friends,the answer would be: erm.. I don't.. really.. know anyone..

and then she would advise me to approach people.. people that would be nice enough to let me in.. but.. here comes me.. totally mute who doesn't know what to say.. God! how could talking be so natural to everyone here??? I don't mind being quiet.. I don't even hate myself..  but I wish I could stick to some group of people and hang out you know.. or people come sit next to me in lunch.. kudos for this one guy who asked me why the heck are you alone?? Its easy to fake an answer but chatting?? Its so damn difficult.. It is like having to force yourself  to do something you don't want to do yet.. like for one, I rather get woken up to an alarm ringing everyday than sit and try to make myself talk..

Then people start thinking that If I don't hang out, I must have a lot of thngs to do with my computer or gaming.. (snorts)

Gaming has never been an interest and neither tech-ing my computer. I don't read since I'm not well enough to buy books.. I've stopped buying books after high school.. I can't write a story.. so what do I do besides sleeping???

repeat my sleeping.. then eat.. then browse the web for comments on books on anything.. then talk to my parents..  how boring am I???  ZzzZZZzzZ

amejad amejad
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 15, 2010

yeah... ahaha.. I just have to feel part of the crowd.. ;)

Well, you can hang with your EP friends till you do.You can have almost just as much fun as "real"friends.

you're right.. I should've said that to him or to anyone who asked.. I might be allowed to sit there quietly and listen and answer a little.. no pressure.. ;)