Not A Single Person

People always tell me I can vent to them or tell them anything. I've fallen for this a few times. I always stay quiet for a while until I have helped them a few times so they know that I actually do care. But every time I need help and start to open up they call me sick and messed up. I continue to help them, but I feel like there's no one on Earth who feels the way I do or will even take the time to listen when I'm really in trouble. I am truly alone.
L96Arctic L96Arctic
22-25, M
3 Responses Jan 22, 2012

I know what that feels like. It hurts like ****! But the real pain is trying to make friends and all of your classmates ignore you all year.

Well-- you could tell me what you tried to tell them-- I would listen. And then, maybe you'd listen to me. Because I've had the exact same experience, of helping people, patiently, humanely; then, if I try to open up even a little, oh dear jesus, forget it. I've stopped having friends, and I should put quote marks around that word, as I realize now those people were in effect just using me. I've given so much for so long, and I mean to everybody, "friends", family, given parties, coordinated fund raisers for charitable causes, visited people when they were sick, cooked people dinners, done everything in the world I could think of to find one freaking like-minded soul to genuinely call friend, and gotten nothing back. Nothing. I've become emotionally bankrupt. Now I am simply alone. I don't even know if what I have always believed a friend was, even exists. Like romantic love, or the concept of a soul mate, the true friend begins to look as though it might should go the way of Santa Claus. Or the unicorn. No wait, what am I saying-- they're real, aren't they??

If U are not asking a girlfriend(coz. I do), I'll be in touch my friend. Not always, but at least i can promise some times.