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I'm Down For The Swirl!

I'm a Darkie and proud! island girl through and through, and happily married to a white southern gentleman. All my life i've always dated white or East Indian men which to say the least has not been easy at times.

You would think in a society that is so culturally diverse and integrated that the racial tension would not be a prominent issue, but alas......thats not the case. Most men especially afro - caribbean men, can be so vicious to interracial couples say some of the most derogatory statements i've ever heard.

Just know that we are some of the strongest people out here in this world to stand against racism and discrimination just by seeing love in someone else outside of our ethnicity and race. Never let anyone destroy your happiness because they are blinded by hate. Take their aggressiveness and stupidity and use to motivate yourself and spread the message of love and positivity.

antalye antalye 26-30, F 9 Responses Aug 5, 2012

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i completely agree with ur thinking

I honestly don't care what people think when they see me with my white husband. I am black and proud to announce I have a white husband ( and a white lover ) on the side! I have my cake and am eating it too!

Its too bad people can't be more accepting. If two people love each other race shouldn't matter.

I agree with you. People are all 99.1 % like each other genetically. I'm a white man dating a black woman.

Amen sister ! plus they are jelous of ur beauty ! plus the darker the meat , the sweeter the juice ! growl ! cheers to you , the happy couple ! love is color blind !

meant *betraying im sorry.

I like this story. Dont let people bother you. If your happy that is all that matters. Yes its true growing up Some black guys would tell me if i ever dated a white guy I am "protraying my family" i have never heard of such. that is so ignorant. i have no time for nonsense.

Its the same here, its so sickening !

Why is it that black men are the angriest about black women marrying white men? The only racism my (black) wife and I have really noticed is that from black men especially in Africa. They will give her a hard time if I am not around. They will call her a prostitute for marrying a white man. It's not nice.

Sutvarmi,

I know what you mean, I think. My wife is from Africa, not British born. I guess you're right about the absentee father thing - the trouble with this sort of thing is that it continues down the generations and it is difficult for the cycle to be broken. In this country, I see basically two types of African black men - high-acheiving and well-educated men in professional roles, often outperforming similarly-educated white men in the workplace, and who lead exemplary family lives. At the other end are under-acheivers who have left school with little or no qualifications who leave behind them a string of pregnant women. These are the ones likely to make adverse comments about black women married to white men, but then they seem to be disrespectful to women generally. The reasons for this latter group I can't pretend to understand, but I am sure absentee fathers and peer pressures at school must have a lot to do with it. It seems to me that there is a huge pool of wasted talent here; some of these guys are obviously quite intelligent.

I see the same thing amongst white men in this country, of course, but the black men seem to more often fall at the extremes of this spectrum.

It is in Africa though that we see the most adverse comment, When we've been to Africa black men will often make an offensive remark to a black woman with a white man. I've seen this more in the city (Lagos) than in the country, and I wonder if there is a tribalist thing to it as well, as it often seems to be the Yoroba men that will say something like this to my Igbo wife.

I am Igbo too and I'm glad you mentioned you notice this only in Lagos. You may agree with me that Africa does not have issues of absentee fathers in large proportion like the Afro american or Afro Caribbean societies, we are more family oriented people and as such few of the 'lucky' ones.
The snide remarks you over hear are primarily due to a left over colonial mentality i.e. to say that, Africans can't believe that white people can genuinely love them after thinking ill of them for so many years.

Most white people that come to work or live in Lagos have a superiority complex and see the Africans as beneath them, therefore, they tend to exploit the women. That is the reason such liaisons are frowned upon. That also does not mean that in some cases, the white men/ women don't look beyond the skin colour to fall truly in love with the pearl beneath the skin colour.

I am not making excuses or holding fort for any group, I am just trying to make you, wally 101, understand the reason behind the adverse comments and reactions you hear or experience while in the city. I am however, happy that you and your wife have true love and are happy.

Interesting to hear your point of view on this as an Igbo, and I think it goes some way to explaining the attitude we've seen there in Lagos. I've not noticed it so much in Port Harcourt, although i have not spent so much time there. In the nearest large place (Umuahia) I have not noticed any problem at all, but then, you hardly ever see white people there.

My point exactly! The people in the cities have seen what I described above and have had their views tainted by those experiences while the people in the hinterlands have not and as such are more accepting.

And in the village I find a lot of curiousity. People stare, especially children, and even I get people driving past slowing and calling out when the see me. I don't mind, it's harmless; there's no maliciousness to it, it's just a natural curiousity especially I think amongst children and even some of the less-travelled adults who have probably never seen a white man before.

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