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Most Americans Still Can't Handle Interracial Couples

I'm Multinese, a phrase I coined to indicate mixed race. Here's how I see things.

The view that people "feel more comfortable with their own race" is exactly the attitude the white-ruled apartheid government had in South Africa in the 60's. 

I've lived in 10 countries and travelled to over 100 others and I can tell you this: America is one of the most bigoted countries in the world. 

The new-agey doe-eyed types in America who claim, 'We are all just humans' have their heads stuck in the sand. These are people who probably have never lived in another country and therefore are not in a position to compare the US with anywhere else. These people are just regurgitating the crap they are fed by the media: "We are the melting pot of the world" Puh-leeze!

Americans who have lived overseas don't have blinders on their eyes like this.
As mstammi said, in Europe, no one looks cross-eyed at mixed race couples and neither do they in most of Asia, South America and other areas. 

I got such s*** for being mixed when I was growing up in LA, which is supposed to be in so open-minded. I got hateful looks no matter what race of guy I was dating. I was treated like a traitor to the black culture. I am only a quarter black, yet I was bullied by blacks for not being black enough, for not having a black identity. At that time wearing an Afro and talking with a black accent was compulsory if you had any black pride. Now it looks like that has been supplanted by the gangsta culture.

I was treated like such an alien in my own country, I decided I may as well leave and be a real foreigner in another country.

What I see on on American TV seems to indicate things haven't changed much since I left. Mixed couples , if no longer outrightly viewed as taboo on TV and in movies, are still a rarity and considered out-of-the-norm. 

Some of the stories I see here on EP certainly support that view, for example Dubiousone's story in "I Have No Problem with Interracial Relationships" entitled "People Stared At Us".

I'm in an interracial marriage. I haven't lived in the US for over 30 years and from what I can see from over here, it sure isn't time to move back yet.
At least there's some hope with Obama though. 

buffalotus buffalotus 51-55, F 82 Responses Mar 21, 2009

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Lol. I don't know where you live currently, but I see mixed race couples all the time and no one says or looks at them weird.

Slavery hasn't ended all that long ago and the Civil Rights movement either so it stands to reason that there are still some racial tensions to be dealt with. One thing that you WON'T see plenty of---as compared to other countries in Europe, for example--is blatant racism towards someone.

We ARE the melting pot. What that specifically means is that we have plenty of diverse cultures and races who live harmoniously together (where I live it's like that). Of course, it's not EVERYWHERE in America but doing to most of America being open-minded (imo), it's close.

I am a mixed-race Jamaican girl (Besides African ancestry, I have Chinese, Jewish Polish, English, Scottish, etc) and I am extremely accepting of various cultures. I think being mixed has allowed me to be interested in where other people come from and their customs. I am a COMPLETE supporter of interracial dating. In my opinion, the only race there is is the human race! Why are people so ignorant? Who cares who others date? I hate the stares that interracial couples face when out in public. I hate how people assume they're having an affair or ask why they married outside of their race. People can be so ignorant and quick to ruin other people's happiness. To all interracial couples out there, don't let the haters get to you!

It's sad people are like this here, but it's true. I've never dated another white person, so I'm used to those ' looks' to me, skins a wrapping paper, and really, are people going to complain if they get a birthday gift wrapped in another kind of paper? *rolls eyes*

I have no understanding of the race issue at all. Although there are cultural differences that can crop-up, I'm far more interested in whether or not someone has values common to mine than what colour they are. They could be the same colour as me and I can't get on with them much because we're just too different in how we think and go about things, or the opposite could be true.

Thank you for your comment, Justmeonline.
Cheers.

I'm a white guy married to a black women and I don't think people hate me because I married a black women. I get more the sense that people are amused by the site of us, the story of us. More often then not we are accepted, we get smiles and sometimes pats on the back, like they are saying wait to go, stick to you guns and don't let society tell you that you are wrong. I live near Detroit which is highly segregated but I don't feel out of place when I'm with my wife in Detroit. We did move to an area that is more affluent and more diverse just because we aren't interested in being the poster child for interracial relationships, feeling that our community would be better suited for us. Long story short, we know people can be ******** and hate us for our happiness but the majority of folks we come across have been easy with us and very accepting.

Congratulations on your happy marriage. Wishing you a long and lovely life together. You can set a beautiful example for others.

Sure some american interracial couples can be seen in South America as never before, nice to see that end of discrimanation just because of skin color

Hi, Capcook. Yes, that is nice. Thanks for sharing that with us.

buffalotus,<br />
I know exactly what you are saying. I didn't realize how much black people are dumped on in the US until I moved to Asia. You have racists here too, but the cops don't pull me over and accuse me of stealing my own car. Shop owners don't say buy something or get out, they're generally helpful and want your business. While they keep to their own, they leave me in peace for the most part. <br />
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I dated a two white boys a long time ago. I will never date one from the US again. It's not because their not attractive, or fun, or great guys. It's because most men in the US are not real men these days. If their friend or family says, what are you doing with that n----, they'll dump you. I'm don't deserve this. BTW, many people need to learn that family and friends who will disown you because of who you date or marry, don't really LOVE you anyway. You're probably better off without them.<br />
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That said, I've seen alot of Russian-Nigerian marriages where I live. The Russian women who marry Nigerians often are ignored, mistreated or even shunned by the Nigerian women. There's morons everywhere. <br />
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As for the earlier comment about the Asian lady in Germany, well, that's probably true. I have German relatives and have visited. Yes, sadly, in some parts of Germany they do act like that. That's all I'll say on that topic. Asian immigrants are largely more accepted in the US and held up as some sort of model immigrant. <br />
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Personally, I'm not exactly fighting to return home, but I won't permanently immigrate from the US. <br />
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Another thought about people who oppress those in interracial relationships, if you are happy with your relationship, why do you care who someone else is dating? Are you jealous? Insecure? Mad that the interracial couple's kids are better looking? Mind your business.

Mrs. Right, can you tell us why you feel American men are no longer real men? What happened to them and when?

Touched a raw nerve?
One of the traits of a real man, IMO, is to be able to make his own decisions and stick to it, especially if it comes to relationships, following dreams or standing up for what's right. From my obeservation, most men, NOT ALL, cave to social pressure over even the most minor things. Not really an admirable trait there. There's nothing wrong with consulting others, but come to your own decisions, not your momma's or your roomate's. Too many weak minded males of all ethnicities in America. That's not the only thing. I know the economy is presently pitiful in America, but even before I left, there were many "kiddults"... not in college or job training, but over 25. They're working and making good wages. Yet they still live with their parents. Not because they're priced out of the rental market, saving up for a move, or they're critically ill....it's coz they can. Instead of paying rent or mortgage elsewhere, they buy the latest gadgets and go on expensive ski trips. Kiddults. Not real men. I'm not taking about someone who was laid off or has cancer or is trying to launch a new career or business. Sorry to hit a nerve, but I try to raise my son not to be the garden variety Sheeple kidult. Don't even get me started about the comittment phobes (marry or get into a stable LTR after years of ...whatever they call ultra casual dating these days.) Yeah. Sorry if it offends...not really. Sticking to my feelings about avoiding men with undesirable character traits helped me to find A GOOD, REAL, MAN. He's American. All my friends see he's rare and know that I'm lucky to have found him. He's sadly the exception and not the rule. BTW, I'm under 50, so I can't say when there was an uptick of sheeple, committment phobe, timid kiddult males, I just refuse to raise one.

The very fact that we're still dealing with issues, such as this, makes me sad. It seems no matter how much we evolve, theres a part of us that seems to want to go backwards. Mainly because we're so use to people who look, talk, & think like we do. A lot of people just don't get out & travel anymore. Here in America, the only thing that truly unites us, are the states we live in. Certain segments of the population just don't wish to interact with one another. And it's ba<x>sed on what was passed down to them from previous generations. <br />
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Thankfully, I come from a generation in this country that could care less about what anyone looks like, what color their skin is & who they have sex with behind closed doors. Thankfully, i've met lot's of pepople on this site, both here in America & around the world, who are open minded :-)You're right, theres some hope with Obama. But he's just the beginning. He just one person. It's up to all of us to help bring hope & change to a world that so desperately needs it!

this is SOOOO TRUE! i was explaining this to my boyfriend the other day..<br />
he was all "yeah I Think they're just staring because you're a beautiful girl and want to know what you're doing with a regular guy like me..."<br />
but they're staring because they have rarely seen a relationship like ours..<br />
sometimes though I'm like that's all insecurity.. and Americans tend to have the biggest insecurities with themselves I've ever seen. Always thinking something someone else is doing has any mark, meaning reflection impact on THEM.<br />
americans need to stop thinking everything everyone ever does is about THEM. on a personal level too.

What do you mean by 'Asians'? Americans often use the term for Orientals while in Europe it means the peoples between (roughly) Iraq and China, especially Pakistan, India and Bangladesh. Old racism against them is resurfacing disguised as fear of a 'Moslem threat'. A lot of it repeats exactly the same kind of stereotypes that once used to be made about Jews.<br />
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It's notable that the the ex-Communist East is crawling with neo-Nazi racism. Whether that's because they never had immigrants or sticking to Fascistic ideas was a way of bucking Communist ideology, or the ideology became perverted to more Fascistic that 'we' lead the world, so the rest of the world is backward, I do not know. I do know that the nearest thing to time travel to the USA 50 years ago lands East of the old Iron Curtain.<br />
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Where there is a huge difference is that (west) European racism has a large cultural and ex-colonial component (or excuse) - 'they' are immigrants from places where people believe in witchcraft and talk to the spirits. Black Americans are as American as white Americans. Most of them have family trees there far older than a lot of white Americans, particularly Jews. Therefore any feeling of difference is purely racial without the cultural excuse.<br />
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Their culture also makes Americans more outspoken, so their racists are going to say they are racists and belief in Free Speech is likely to support their freedom to say it regardless of what it thinks about what is being said. European racists, by a more protective understanding of 'freedom' as freedom from being offended by the opinion of others, are less likely to voice their feelings as directly. They could be (and are) prosecuted for doing so, since freedom of the individual from assault, verbal or otherwise, outweighs freedom of speech.<br />
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I do find it interesting that discounting men attached to mail-order 'submissive Oriental' wives, it is much more white women who go for African than white men for black women. I must make that distinction that here, 'blacks' are mostly from 'Francophone' West Africa, not the Caribbean or USA and their culture differs as much as a Tuscan peasant farmer from any 'Little Italy' - in fact they mostly hate each other across the Atlantic.<br />
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That is quite possibly because West African women often resemble 'Jewish Princesses' and would never concede to the equality (or from more traditional men domesticity) that men expect. Likewise, African men will treat women with a flattering old-world courtesy and near reverence where 'whites' expect a more equal partner to pull her weight, or a Mummy to look after them. It is only when it is too late, that women often find that the apparant reverence can come at a massive cost of he is Da Man.

Thanks for the eye-opening observations. West African women resemble "Jewish princesses"? That is hilarious. Of the friends I have who are West African, I would have to agree.
I would like to throw an opinion in here that I have heard from not only American men but guys from of a number of cultures: American women are bossy, opinionated and loud. That's why men go for more compliant Asian women. Is it true, gentlemen?

Sorry but the US hasn't cornered the market of treating foreigners badly.<br />
Though I can understand why self-loathing Americans would like to claim that.<br />
In Japan, foreigners are literally treated like second class citizens. And I'm not talking about the occasional, dirt bag. It's a systemic problem. Foreigners have a much harder time getting loans, renting apartments, finding jobs and even getting good medical care. <br />
Also, Asians are treated with a fair amount of contempt in most European countries. There is still a lot of accepted racism in Europe. At least in America, most people regard racism as something to be ashamed of.<br />
A lot of people posting here who claim to have "lived" or "travelled" to many countries and claim that America is the worst probably haven't lived in those countries for more than a year at a time. You won't notice racism on the surface of most industrialized countries. You have to actually try to live there to see what it's like. The more you live somewhere, the more you will see the warts. And if the place you've lived the longest is the US, then of course you are going to experience more problems there than when you spent a summer in Europe or whatever.

So, desu ne? (That's true isn't it) but at least in Japan, gaijin (foreigners) are just gaijin. They don't care what your background is. If you are not Nihonjin (Japanese), you are gaijin. End of story. There is something so endearingly equalizing about that. I agree with everything you said, but still, they are so unabashedly xenophobic, it's kind of honest and sweet. We are also treated like rock stars too, you have to admit. If a local gets a gaijin boyfriend or girlfriend and they are instantly "kakoii" (cool).

Size is a factor. There is no real 'European' or 'American', only a jigsaw of very different regions. Bill Bryson tells an interesting tale that although he grew up in Chicago considering it more 'mixed' than the Southern states, he was surprised to find when he went down there that individuals had to mix with each other far more even with relics of the old segregation, while the 'mixed' Chicago of his childhood was a mass of little ghettoes with invisible walls that nobody ever crossed. Even a single city may have its ghettoes including ones where tolerant mixing is the norm. Usually those equate to 'upper-working' and 'middle' classes and central areas because these are where usefulness and skill matter, so employees of similar income are more mixed.<br />
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All Americans are ultimately immigrants and immigrants naturally stick together with what they find common and familiar. Europe has historically so many more divisions and conflicts that they don't resolve into simple racism. Some maintain them, some have forgotten them. <br />
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Looking at a Youtube documentary on Attila the Hun earlier, there's real hate argument between those proud to claim ethnic descendent from this great uniter of European and Asian peoples, those telling them their ancestors never even saw the Huns and those who think Attila the Devil incarnate. That's 1500 years ago for God's sake!<br />
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So it might be truer that you will find whatever you are looking for on either continent - depending where you look for it.

Thanks, Valerey, for the observations.

South Europeans are not 'white'!? When did this happen? In the Third Reich maybe that had some doubts about its southern allies?<br />
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It just shows what a nonsense 'racism' is. You can call anybody a 'race' and make a fiction about it. There's even the 'Anglo-Saxon' race - doesn't Anglo + Saxon just kind of teeny suggest these are two entrirely different peoples?

Cheers, Valerey.

Valerey, Hispanic refers to those from Latin America or are of Latin American decent. There is, was, and will continue to be mixing between those of predominately native ancestry and those of European and African ancestry. Most people of Latin American decent living in the United States, light skinned or otherwise, do not want to be thought of as being white. So to answer the last paragraph of your post, it is by their own choice that this label is used and out of respect for their wishes that it is used by others.<br />
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I for one do not want to be referred to as being Irish, Scottish, or German. My identity and those of my ancestors are far different, I claim no allegiance to nor share any identity with any of the 3 European countries that I mentioned. I prefer to be referred to as American, but not everyone feels this way

I think it says everything about the USA that **** sites list 'inter-racial' as a fetish alongside **********. Nothing wrong with slavery - there's not a culture in the world that hasn't had it and 'work or starve' comes to much the same thing in the end. In colonial times there were balck ex-slave slave-owners. What is wrong is the slavery getting justified with a weird social Darwinism (by people who mostly claim not to even believe in evolution yet!) and for more than 100 years after abolition still finding excuses for ethnic discrimination.<br />
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Americans still mostly don't understand. They delight in picking on European news items about far right and anti-Moslem prejudice but they don't see that most of it is driven because these people are immigrants from exotic cultures that often were traditionally considered backward imperial subjects within living memory.<br />
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Few of them have been living in Europe for more than 50 years so to older people especially, they can still seem exotic, strange-looking people with stranger habits - and in the last five years, very similar prejudice has attached itself to Poles and Romanians. They haven't been here often generations longer than the white people prejudiced against them like in the USA! I'll bet most black Americans can follow American ancestry back far further than Jews with Slavic or German names and probably have far less 'foreign' culture.<br />
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Then there's the 'Hispanics'. When did Spanish become a 'race'? Excuse me but just which Europeans settled, ran and named in their own language California, Arizona, Tejas, Colorado, New Mejico, Florida (and probably a few more I can't think of)?

Valerey, Here, here! You are so right. Thank you for sharing.

I read a lot of USA bashing comments on this one. I think that they stem from Freudian projection, and that the rest of the world is jealous of us.<br />
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Yes I do have national pride, even with the jackass of a president that we currently have. Jackass??? Did I just call a person of another race a negative name? I guess that means that I am racist<br />
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I would like to give a big "**** off" and "those who live in glass houses should not throw stones" to all of those who have made the same old tired stereotypical comments about Americans. How are you guys any more tolerant, any less unfairly judgmental while you are labeling people with the same old media perpetuated stereotypes? Isn't this what we have been accused of in these comments? So I guess that the Brits are all a bunch of arrogant, smug, smart-assed. rude people with ugly women and poor dental hygiene. The French have sex in public in front of children on park benches, do not shower or shave their legs but pour on the perfume. I van sling some media perpetuated stereotypes myself here, but I will refrain from doing so and leave this one. I have stated my piece,

How sad. You need to bring yourself up to date on 21st century psychology. It is obvious you have never been to either the UK or France. Your piece has no credibility. You are precisely the kind of person who makes Americans look ignorant.

Its funny that you marginalized the US specifically here, since I agree wholeheartedly. Its also a little disconcerting for me in particular...<br />
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What does a person do who isn't attracted to anyone of their own race, and receives a lot of flak for only being honest about it?

Other places may be racist but not anywhere I have lived in the past 40 years of living overseas. I was born and raised in the US and have watched it getting more racist instead of left since I left it in the 1970s. I thought it would really approve after the Equal Rights Amendment of 1964. It did for a while did for a while but racism has crept back in more insidious forms.

Definitely... i have been born in a multinational family, German, Jewish and born in Chile.... Hard to say what could be my race, so i prefer to say: heck! It is that behind the colour or race what i really care about !!! <br />
Besides i have traveled around the world for tha last 20 years, and i love interracial love !!! In the mix lays the taste!!!<br />
Thanks for puttin it here so accurately, Buffalotus !!!! I agree with you... <br />
thanks Holliwood we all know very much about the US, but they do not know much about us out here!!! thats sucks here in France about the US: sorry!

Hi RobicusLocus, Thanks for your uplifting comment. I love "the mix lays in the taste." I'm going to quote you on that!
Cheers,
'Lotus

and for clarification, Europe has a much, much lower percentage of non-whites, but they complain when a Turk (or any Muslim and/or Black) moves into a flat in their buildings (often causing them to move). The way to spot a building full of Turks (& other immigrants), are the amount of satellite dishes on the outsides of their flats in a building. <br />
So, the Americans can, as always, keep kidding themselves, but in reality, Americans are likely more tolerant, as we (Europeans) are not as 'exposed' to as much mixing. But, while most will not stare at a mixed-couple, they WILL be laughed at/talked about later. Nobody wants them here. <br />
And, all this complaining when America has MIXED President, chosen by a huge majority? That will not be happening anywhere here anytime soon. And, this is why we consider Americans so bloody stupid. Look at the hypocrisy.

Yes, it's hard to believe the racism that has been aimed at the president. Unfortunately, mixies get hit from both sides with it. In Obama's case, he has been accused of not being black enough by some blacks because he doesn't speak with a black accent . By whites, he's not directly criticized for being black but they disguise their racism by accusing him of being Muslim. The poor guy can't win with some people. It's embarrassing how badly a good portion of Americans treat their own first mixed president. It makes us look really ignorant in the eyes of the world.

I am 100% German - born and raised. Well-educated, speak and write 5 languages. Have lived in many countries for my profession. Racism is EVERYwhere. In Germany, at least the part in which I live (Berlin), the most hated group currently are the Turks, who the Germans brought in to rebuild after the war. Mixed Children (German/Turk) are not really spoken about, many times the child lives with the German parent. Racism against others, however, runs rampant (albeit underground). I notice most people posting how Europe and Europeans are a bastion of tolerance, are Americans who have visited only one or two countries here on holiday. To make assumptions based on your visits are absurd. You think children don't pull their eyes back and mock the Chinese? You think the 'N' word isn't used over dinner conversation? (Granted, i do not believe it carries the same connotation here).<br />
People here are concerned about the diminishing 'white race'. The Turks and Muslims from other lands are 'browning down' (term used by our media) the entirety of Europe.<br />
I have no problems with Black people, but it's my opinion, and many others I know, who believe that the races should NOT procreate together. We mean the Blacks and Muslims.

I am 100% German - born and raised. Well-educated, speak and write 5 languages. Have lived in many countries for my profession. Racism is EVERYwhere. In Germany, at least the part in which I live (Berlin), the most hated group currently are the Turks, who the Germans brought in to rebuild after the war. Mixed Children (German/Turk) are not really spoken about, many times the child lives with the German parent. Racism against others, however, runs rampant (albeit underground). I notice most people posting how Europe and Europeans are a bastion of tolerance, are Americans who have visited only one or two countries here on holiday. To make assumptions based on your visits are absurd. You think children don't pull their eyes back and mock the Chinese? You think the 'N' word isn't used over dinner conversation? (Granted, i do not believe it carries the same connotation here).<br />
People here are concerned about the diminishing 'white race'. The Turks and Muslims from other lands are 'browning down' (term used by our media) the entirety of Europe.<br />
I have no problems with Black people, but it's my opinion, and many others I know, who believe that the races should NOT procreate together. We mean the Blacks and Muslims.

Hellopity, Thank you for your observations. Where else have you lived?

My friend is from Australia and her and her boyfriend are a interracial couple and she said that when she came over here to see me it was a shocker to her the way the people's stares made her feel, i didnt fully get it having never lived anywhere but in the USA but she took a video and showed me her daily life in melborne and good lord, i want to live there, i dont understand this... suposly the US is the land of the free, then why is people so uptight about this, me personaly i love seeing interaccial couples it does make me smile, i have no idea why but ive been like that since i was a kid...

Hi Caligurl, Thank you for your heartwarming comment.

I live outside the US. I travel 150K miles/year. I've been to the US many times and most European countries. Is there racism in the US? Yes. Is it better in Europe? Absolutely not. Europeans are incredibly backwards and sheltered when it comes to race. Here is something you need to understand- non-whites make up a small % in Europe- even in the UK, non-whites make up less than 5% of the population (yes, UK includes more than London). Whats humorous is that as the non-white percentage notches up modestly in Europe- btw nowhere close to the US' 30%+ non-white rate- in places like Italy and Denmark- you see outrage from Italy's PM that Italian towns look like Africa and in Denmark, you have whites leaving the country in droves to escape the "dastardly" Muslims (who by the way make up a tiny portion of the population). European countries divided up the continent by ethnic lines; they are largely white, and whatever statistically small non-white minorities they do have (yes, dissuade yourself from the myth that individual European countries are diverse), they are bellyaching in a serious way. I could go into anecdotes that demonstrate racism in Europe and the US, but in comparing the two, US is further along and far more mature in how it handles racial matters. Europe is taking baby steps. Europe will not have an Obama in the next 30 years.

Thank you, Jagrmeister. You make astute observations most people wouldn't know except by direct experience. Europe used to be more tolerant than the US back in the 1960s and 1970s, then seemed to back-pedal when fresh immigration waves hit from Africa and the Mideast.
I hope Obama gets another 4 years to continue his positive influence and I hope a similar leader surfaces somewhere in the EU.

Its not americans that cant tolerate interacial couples its racists, and yes they are every where, there might be a more concentrated amount here in the states but Im so sick of the ignorant remarks spewed about "americans" as if we can all be slumpped into one category. If you dont want to be generalized than dont do it to other people. o and btw....tv isn't real!!!!! please dont base your opinions on millions of people you dont know based on what you see on an old re run of melrose place

I would bet you have never lived anywhere else but the US so you're opinion is not creditable. I have lived in more countries than you can probably name in the last 40 years. Get some experience, read more and then get back to us.

milady<br />
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i just now found this story about inter tribal prejudice between two south african black tribes.<br />
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see<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=279547" target="ep_blank">http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e...</a><br />
<br />
thanks <br />
<br />
b

bcj, Hi! Thank you for this!

milady<br />
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oh. i did not even notice that point. This was september '94<br />
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we had just had our first open elections. Madiba (Pres Nelson Mandela) was elected to office. <br />
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we can by property anywhere since then.<br />
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it is fine now. the story that you read is a reflection on the social residue of a bad set of statutes. she was basically blackmailed by the "attitudes" in her parents home. she made the choice not to be excommunicated by the family.<br />
<br />
b

This is a real eye-opener, that even inter-tribal unions are frowned upon. It was sad to read in your story "Lost Love" that this broke up your relationship. I'm so sorry.<br />
But the fact that you got housing in an all-white apartment is encouraging news.

lady buffalotus<br />
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I have stated earlier that interracial marriages have been decriminilised. now we have mixed couples walking together and living together and married. However, it is still frowned upon in society.<br />
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White people are told not to "bring colour into the family. It is not the done thing" <br />
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Black people don't accept other races in the main and they even frown upon inter-marrying with other black tribes.<br />
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It's crazy. I once lived in an apartment block comprising 60 units. It took me a year to discover that we were the only black family there, because it is not something that i search for.<br />
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I had a relationship dissolve because of this issue - see my story on a love lost<br />
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<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=472095" target="ep_blank">http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e...</a><br />
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These bad manners of discriminating on the grounds of race, tribe, caste, income band, hair texture, colour are still alive and well in society.<br />
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It took my lady just about a year to become comfortable in dealing with the outside pressure about this.<br />
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For many people this is a gigantic step. They really have to judge and declare their upbringing as wrong, bad, evil and this creates massive clashes in their extended families. They become, in a sense, pioneers of attitude.<br />
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This is a big cross to bear and I never judge them for capitulating to family pressures. Some are threatened with excommunication from the larger family.<br />
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humbly yours <br />
<br />
b

I appreciate that this thread is mainly about American attitudes to interracial marrige, but I feel, that, as a UK citizen, I can still input.<br />
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Locally, there are three interracial marriages I know of personally.<br />
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One took place durring the late nineteen-fifties, when West Indians were just coming to the UK in numbers.<br />
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That marriage was between a white woman & a black man.<br />
I was too young to understand at the time why J was suddenly being called names when she had always been such a sweetheart in the area........<br />
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In the 'seventies and 'eighties, I understood all too well why the other people I knew who married interracially were ostracised.<br />
<br />
I became ostracised, too, for sticking by my pals<br />
Whatever you say about America and her intolerance of interracial marriage, does apply to the UK.

Meggi51, hi again. How about the reverse: black women with white men? Is that combination less frequently seen? Would it be viewed as more acceptable ?

M'lord bcj,<br><br />
Very well. Racism is still rife there as it is in all ex-colonies.<br><br />
But how about interracial marriage? Has it become legalized? Does one ever see interracial couples on the streets?

Buffalo. You suggested that I should start my own thread on the subject of Britishness....<br />
<br />
I did - and no-one has responded.<br />
<br />
I simply want to say that there is discrimination still going on in the UK.<br />
<br />
There are several white girls in my neighbourhood who have had relationships with black guys and had children as a result.<br />
<br />
Those girls are regarded as ****** among many of the whites, while the black fathers strut the neighbourhood, bragging about their fertility!<br />
<br />
As for the children, well, they can't find a place in either white or black communities.

Milady<br />
<br />
Apartheid or racism is alive and well here as it is all over the world.<br />
<br />
For clarity, my understanding of racism is when people consider others to be inferior or superior based on ethnic differences.<br />
<br />
This is biblical, pre-biblical, and still exists today. David conquered nations and made the vanquished people "lesser". this has continued through all the wars and colonisations of the world.<br />
<br />
The downfall of apartheid was brought about by a multitude of resistance efforts. I have no doubt that music and musicians were elemental to this change.<br />
<br />
Coming back; racism is alive and well. what has changed is the political order. There is also now a new privileged peoples, by race. So, while the statute has changed the twin evils of racism and corruption live on and so the poor remain disempowered.<br />
<br />
What world history tells us however, is that oppression does not win forever. the order will be overturned again because poverty is oppressive.<br />
<br />
humbly <br />
<br />
b

bcj: Thank you for your comment, m'lord. <br><br />
It sounds like you are truly doing your part to make things harmonious in your beautiful country which has come a long way in 15 years.<br><br />
Now that the apartheid regime has ended in South Africa, how has society adjusted ? Would you say there is now more acceptance of interracial relationships? (despite lingering xenophobia, etc)<br><br />
Remember Steven Van Zandt and his all-star lineup of musicians who comprised <br />
Artists United Against Apartheid? They made the ('I Ain't Gonna Play') Sun City<br />
album in 1985. The apartheid regime ended 9 years later in 1994. I'd like to think that the musicians' embargo had something to do with it.<br><br />
Maybe we could muster up some musicians to go on a worldwide tour for the interracial couples cause.

Milady<br><br />
<br><br />
for almost fifty years i have argued and debated with others about evil in the world. I now see that one voice can be drowned out by 6 bn others. <br><br />
<br><br />
So, now, I concentrate on making my microcosm a better place for me and mine. I defend my own family fiercely and my philosophy on life vehemently.<br><br />
<br><br />
I have read your story and the comments above. i do not wish to change anyone nor to change their ways of life. Only I have to answer for the way that I have lived and only you for yours. As an adult, one can place the blame on no other on the day of reckoning. i like the lyrics that I once read, "How I would hate to be in your shoes on that terrible day", or words to that effect.<br><br />
<br><br />
I teach those that I am accountable for the difference between race and racism. I have lived with both for my whole life. Racism is saddening, depressing, tiring and oppressive AND IT IS RIFE IN ANY EX EUROPEAN COLONY. <br><br />
<br><br />
I do not know enough about the eastern countries or their histories and cultures to make any observations.<br><br />
<br><br />
Till this present day, young Nigerians (under 20 years old) tell of how, Americans working for Shell, call them Black Monkeys. It is real, intolerable, hateful, hurtful and evil inspired.<br><br />
<br><br />
Incidentally, I live in South Africa, a country that you mention in passing. We have a new democracy, only 15 years old, where racism, nepotism, xenophobia, corruption, crime and many other antisocial and other such unpatriotic behaviour flourishes.<br><br />
<br><br />
We also have natural beauty in our fauna, flora and geography AS WELL AS BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS ie ETHICAL - MORALLY AND SOCIALLY.<br><br />
<br><br />
humbly<br><br />
<br><br />
thanks<br><br />
<br><br />
b

Thank you, Dashen! <br />
Cheers, Lotus

you got my standing ovation.

This just in:Disney finally takes the leap: <br />
<br />
"Mel B...the former Spice Girls star is thrilled the lead character in upcoming animation 'The Princess And The Frog' is African-American, but thinks the film should have been made years ago."<br />
<br />
"The 33-year-old singer said: 'It seems to cause some controversy that the princess falls in love with a white prince in the movie. I can't see why there should be a problem!<br />
We should be applauding interracial relationships and have more of an open mind...Disney, you should have made this film sooner.' "<br />
<br />
http://mail.google.com/mail/?hl=en&tab=wm#inbox/1205a5cb3fd9de22

Randy, I hear what you're saying and will respond but TBC (to be continued) from me in a day or two.

Big brother . . . No<br />
<br />
Any country that does not have pride in itself is in danger of loosing itself. You don't have to agree with everything. In fact we need to strive to do better. I see more and more people who almost wish that this country will fail. Some of which are Americans. Be careful of what you wish for, if you think the economy is bad, just wait till the fabric of the country starts to tear. AND it will be felt globally. Some might cheer but wait till you see who comes to take our place. . . And it may not happen in a tidy way.<br />
<br />
But that is not what this topic is about. Sorry to side track stuff. It is about people of different background mixing.<br />
When I was in the Philippines, I found that really I never detected any bias towards any ethnic groups at all over there. My wife said she only learned prejudice, when she came to the States. <br />
<br />
We have covered a lot of ground, but it is also true as a nation, we need to have a better communication with each other. This is most directed to Blacks and Whites. We see each other every day, we just don't talk as we should. We fear to be labeled racist or something worse. But it is slowly getting better. It just might take a few more generations to get it right.

Randy from a couple comments back, you said that it's both harmful and dangerous not to have pride in where you live. Why? You got Big Brother watching you over there?

Ah . . . you also forget one lil thing. When you dump a bunch of fish in a small bowl, chances are they will all meet each other pretty quick. Where if you dump the same amount of fish in a swimming pool, it will take a bit longer.<br />
<br />
The US is Massive in comparison to Britain. Most people live in tighter quarters and grouped in certain areas of Britain. A lot of Britain is rural. So if you take all these people from all around the world who immigrated to England, chances are they will have very little choice but to mix than they would in a greater area of say . . . the US?<br />
<br />
The US has work to do, and that’s for sure, but Polls can be manipulated depending on who is doing the counting. I was a master of playing with numbers when I was in Management. I could make the stats point in any direction I wanted. Be weary of Polls. - AND the fact that you have to marry someone of a different race to be considered Tolerant!

Valid point, Randy.

Back to our topic of interracial relationships: According to this BBC news story, the UK is ages ahead of the US in attitudes about intermarriage.<br />
<br />
"The United Kingdom has one of the fastest growing mixed-race populations in the world, fuelled by the continuing rise of inter-ethnic relationships.<br />
In spite of the recent racially-fuelled violence in several northern towns and cities, these days the evidence suggests that Britons of all shades are embracing each other more than ever before.<br />
<br />
Celebrities like comedians Lenny Henry and Dawn French, actor Michael Caine, newsreader Trevor McDonald, singer Sade and writer Salman Rushdie are, or have been, in mixed race relationships.<br />
<br />
The singer Shirley Bassey, Labour MP Oona King and writer Hanif Kureshi are high-profile examples of Britain’s burgeoning mixed race population.<br />
<br />
Data from the 2001 census due to be released later this year is expected to confirm that Britain has one of the highest rates in the world of inter-ethnic relationships and, consequently, mixed race people.<br />
<br />
By 1997 already half of black men and a third of black women in relationships had a white partner according to a major study of ethnic minorities published by the Policy Studies Institute (PSI).<br />
<br />
It also revealed that other inter-racial relationships were flourishing with a fifth of Asian men and 10% of Asian women opting for a white partner.<br />
<br />
But in spite of those findings, research carried out for BBC News Online revealed only a third of Britons think people in the UK are very tolerant of mixed race relationships."<br />
<br />
I find that last bit very interesting: According to polls, only 30% of Britons think <br />
the UK is tolerant of intermarriage yet statistics show that in fact, they are one of the most tolerant countries in the world.<br />
<br />
The US is the opposite: by poll, 75% of Americans think the US is tolerant yet<br />
statistics show they are one of the least tolerant countries with only 7% of the population being intermarried<br />
<br />
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/in_depth/uk/2002/race/changing_face_of_britain.stm

""We rationalists simply wonder why it is that desperate people are not allowed to settle here, become a vital part of the community without being abused.""<br />
<br />
Yea I see your point.<br />
It is in your countries best interest to fully accept them, because you sure don't want them to develop their own culture and identity without including their host country. The result is bad. Best example is Canada. French vrs British Divisions.<br />
<br />
It is why being tolerant is the best for everyone in the long run. <br />
You know . . . “A house divided . . .”

You miss the point. <br />
<br />
Most of the immigrants fully appreciate this country.<br />
<br />
It's the ignorant s***s who swagger around, dripping bling, dispalayiong the Union flag, or the Cross of St.George, when the football is on.<br />
<br />
They call themselves patriots, but they have no concern for Britain beyond that.<br />
<br />
Most Britons don't actually wonder about the country.<br />
<br />
We know who and what we are.<br />
<br />
We rationalists simply wonder why it is that desperate people are not allowed to settle here, become a vital part of the community without being abused.

Meggi51, been to your country. There are many similarities between your country and mine. However it would seem that some of your ethnic groups have run amuck. I was in a hotel across Hyde Park when a Muslim demonstration started, (Pre 911) and the were protesting the British Government. I know they still are. In that case, I would open the door wide and say, "If you don't like it here leave. And if you still hate this country, we will help you."<br />
You can't afford that kind of division inside your country.<br />
<br />
As for the others . . . I know what your saying, but in many cases they are still living a better life in your country, than if they stayed where they are at. So don't feel too bad. I been to Hong Kong . . . not much the place for me. I won't elaborate.<br />
<br />
I think many Britons are wondering who they are and what has happened to their country - a country with a long history. <br />
<br />
But I see your point fully. If only the new people just appreciated the country they are now in, I think that would help a lot.

I ask the question, 'What does it mean to be British?'<br />
<br />
Nine times out of ten, the answer will be that you must be white and speak English.<br />
<br />
Never mind the black servicemen who were killed in WW II, serving with the British Forces......<br />
<br />
Never mind that the local shop, on whose owners the locals rely, are African Asians - kicked out by Idi Amin.<br />
<br />
It makes me SICK!<br />
<br />
When people come to Britain, seeking refuge from the oppressive regime in their own country, when they flee that country in fear of their lives, when they build a life in this country and provide a service to the community, they should be welcomed, not villified.<br />
<br />
I do my best to promote integration, but sometimes it gets overwhelming.<br />
<br />
There is so much inherant prejudice and suspicion.<br />
<br />
I'll keep doing my bit, though.

Why that family was targeted Meggi51, was because they were perceived as weak. Bullies do that. I know that first hand. You can’t look too different, act too different, or god for bid have something that limits you, or your going to get hammered by some weak minded individual. That is how it works. It makes no difference what color or ethnic background they are.<br />
<br />
Blacks vrs Whites.<br />
I explained this to a guy who was black, who I know and trust. He was all up on this subject so I explained it like this:<br />
<br />
Whites kept Blacks in their own corner. The Blacks developed their own sense of culture and persona, so they are of themselves like a separate America in some ways. Everything from how they see the world to what they eat is different in many cases.<br />
Now that it is far more acceptable to “Mix” whether it is through dating or just as friends we try to. BUT what is killing it, is when someone says something to a white person like “White Peoples Government” or this or that, about whites or something gets said, Whites get uncomfortable as hell and we kinda go back into our shells and hang out with our own or some other group who will accept us 100%. Example: Asians have been very successful at the mixing game. My point – they tend to be non confrontational, and we are not trying to make them less Asian.<br />
Whites don’t even know what to call a Black Person anymore. I got my head bit off, a few too many times to even try. So I dance around it now, so that no one will call me a raciest or ignorant. <br />
<br />
That is not to say that Blacks are the enemy. Whites sure are playing the game in some parts too. But how can we finally solve this issue, unless we let our guard down a little. The black movement is about posturing and being strong. How do you break down those walls.<br />
<br />
Out here in AZ, we are a pretty new State. We have a very limited history so we don’t have all the hang ups as other areas have. I say we mix well and intolerance is not tolerated. It is really frowned upon here. Besides your neighbor on one side may be from North Dakota, and the other Neighbor may be from Minnesota, where the neighbor across from you might be from LA. It is hard to pool ideas when everyone comes from different backgrounds. That is the beauty of being in AZ. But you have to make a deal with the devil, and that is the heat.<br />
<br />
Last - No matter where you live, and in what country - IT is seriously important to have a positive outlook where you live, or else you will be partly to blame when your culture starts to be broken down. That is exactly what is happing here in the States. I ask you, "What does America Represent to you? Who is an American?"<br />
I bet only bad things come to mind. This is not good. We need to reform our thinking and reach out for one another and ignore the rest.

You may not believe this -= well, actually, you probably will......<br />
<br />
A new family has moved into the house next-door-but-two from me.<br />
<br />
Since the last occupants of that house died, the gardens had become really overgrown.<br />
<br />
The new people have worked tirelessly to restore those gardens to order.<br />
<br />
They're nice folk.<br />
<br />
However, they don't speak much English - and that is enough to make them targets for some of the local, dead-ignorant youths.<br />
<br />
I happen to know - because I took the trouble to find out - that they came from war-torn country in Eastern Europe.<br />
<br />
They barely escaped with their lives.<br />
<br />
Certain local opinion is that they've come here, taken a house that should go to a local family, are scroungers, taking State benefits and jobs....Blah, blah, blah......<br />
<br />
Truth is, no local family wanted that house.<br />
<br />
This family are NOT taking State benefits; they work, doing menial jobs no-one round here wants.<br />
<br />
So, they don't speak much English. Big deal!<br />
<br />
Half the people in this neighbourhood, born & raised here, can't speak proper English!<br />
<br />
Will I welcome this family.....?<br />
<br />
You bet I will!<br />
<br />
I may not be able to speak their language, but a bunch of flowers speaks volumes.

Belot79: Are you are in a mixed race relationship or are you yourself mixed race? If so , are you saying you have never in your life experienced racism?<br><br />
Forget history. We're talking about current prevalent attitudes. <br><br />
According to Gallup polls taken in 1948, 90% of the US population was against interracial unions between blacks and whites. In 1968, it dropped to 75%. In 1990, it dropped to 50% and by 2000 it dropped to 25% against intermarriages. Now these most recent polls were taken by telephone interviews of only 2,388 people so we have no way of knowing how accurate a representation of nationwide attitudes this is.<br><br />
However, if we look at statistics taken from the 1970 census, only 2% of the US population (65,000) had intermarried. This was 3 years after anti-miscegenation laws were repealed.<br><br />
40 years later, in 2005, still only 7% of the population had intermarried (455,000) That's an increase of a mere 5% in 40 years.<br><br />
The difficulty in acceptance lies in the puritanical attitude that interracial unions are morally wrong.<br><br />
People can claim all they want that intermarriage is fine and dandy with them.<br />
Of course. It's very pc of them to do so. But the stats don't lie. A paltry 5% increase in intermarriages in 40 years. What does that tell you, folks?

Randy182: You're right. If you say 'mixed couple' in the US, most people think of black and white, not Asian or any other ethnic group + white.<br />
<br />
Ah, LA, LA. I always say it's a great place to be from. People outside the US always seem to be impressed when I say I was born and raised there. They think 'Hollywood'. But living there is a whole different reality. The LA most people see on TV and in movies is Beverly Hills or Santa Monica. Certainly not anywhere south of Wilshire. They don't showcase South Central or East LA in films unless it's about gang wars or crime.<br />
<br />
That's rough that your company was located in the hood. I got transferred from Dorsey High to Crenshaw and just about didn't make it out alive. I don't know why anyone who didn't have to be there would voluntarily choose to put a business there. The building would need alarms, razor-wire fences and security guards to keep it safe and that's just in the daytime.<br />
<br />
I know what you mean about getting tired of having to apologize for being white. The worst racism I ever witnessed or experienced was by blacks against whites or Multinese, like me. At the time, it was referred to as 'reverse racism'.<br />
<br />
When I was refused service in a restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas because I was with a white friend, I wasn't too taken aback. The owners were white. History had been made there in 1957 when 9 black students had to be escorted into an all-white Central High, causing such an uproar that it was the catalyst for the Civil rights Amendment to get pushed through in 1964. There were banners in the streets proclaiming "Race Mixing is Communism". When my friend and I as a mixed couple were refused service in Little Rock, however it was 15 years after this time. A couple years later, same thing happened in Utah. This is in the 80's, y'all.<br />
<br />
Getting thrown out of a restaurant is one thing, but getting spat on or badmouthed by blacks because you're a mixed couple or just mixed is even worse. They act like the world owes them. And whites buy into that by leaning over backwards to accommodate them and mealy-mouthing the liberal lines "We're all just human" and "I'm colorblind". I'll bet you have never heard a black person say "I am colorblind". It's only nervous, apologetic whites or mixies who have to say that.<br />
<br />
It's such a shame to hear you got passed up for promotion because of that sorry-a** Affirmative Action program which did more harm than good, in my opinion. Because of the minority quota requirement, the sad truth is , as you point out, that lesser qualified people get hired or promoted. <br />
<br />
After living 30-some years in LA, my parents had enough too and moved to Arizona. In comment on my Multinese story, you said your Filipina wife gets mistaken for other Asian ethnicities and even for Native-American. I find that uplifting. They like us there (the quarter of me that's Cherokee is saying that)

Meggi51: Thank you for sharing your story. That was quite an experience. Glad to hear you welcome all people with open arms.

Wow, lots of comments. I can't take the time to read it all, but I have traveled the world and I think America is its won worse enemy. Many are clueless to what the real world is about. They live in a bubble and think everything they do effects the world or it should effect the world.<br />
<br />
I don't know. I have an Asian wife, but it's weird here in the states. Many don't precieve it as mixed, until you pair up a black person with a white.<br />
<br />
I grew up in LA and in the 80's to 90's I got sick to death for apologizing for being white. I worked in some black neighborhoods where they resented me and said that I took a Black mans job and that I don't belong in their hood. In 94 I got passed up 4 times for promotion because LA, and especially my company started "Affirmative action" where employers had to hire so many "Minorities". What happened is I had worked for that company for 10 years and I was being passed up for people off the steet who were any color but white.<br />
I had enough and left for Arizona. I can honestly say, no one out here can give a damn what color you are. JUST so long as you belong in this country Legally.<br />
<br />
America lives in a Bubble.<br />
<br />
I love traveling outside the States, but in the end, there still is no place like home. So I won't bash The US that much. That is no better than the other extreme. It is both harmful and dangerous not to have pride in where you live.

Hi Randy182,
Thanks for your reply. Really sorry to hear you got hassled for being white. That is reverse racism and it's just as bad.

I can only try.<br />
<br />
Some years ago, I found myself caught up in a horrible situation on my own street.<br />
<br />
I was returning from a trip to the local store, when I was knocked off my feet by a mob of youths who were running down the street.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, there was a mob of twenty-plus youths, gathered round someone who was on the ground, being kicked in the head.<br />
<br />
I didn't stop to think, I just went into the middle of the mob.<br />
<br />
I swung my carrier bag around and managed to clear a space around the victim.<br />
<br />
Then it turned nasty, when the mob realised that I was one small woman, alone.<br />
<br />
Someone hit me and I screamed.<br />
<br />
My husband, our house being nearby, heard and came to my rescue.<br />
<br />
The whole mob then turned on him & I.<br />
<br />
Someone in a nearby house called the police and the sound of approaching sirens dispersed the mob.<br />
<br />
Not before my husband & I had taken bruises, though.<br />
<br />
The man I'd tried to save.........He got up and refused to speak to the police.<br />
<br />
He was a Spanish student .<br />
<br />
His, 'crime,' was to have been in the local shop, have been pushed out of the queue by local youths and to have protested.<br />
<br />
He was then regarded as a fair target because he was, 'Foreign.'<br />
<br />
I am so often ashamed to be British, because it means that I'm lumped in with these ignoramuses.<br />
<br />
As far as I'm concerned, a person could land here from Mars. They could be purple with green spots.<br />
<br />
They're welcome into my neighbourhood - unless they prove themselves to be undesireable.

Hi Meggi51,
Thank you for sharing.

Ahh, I'm sorry to hear that, Meggi.<br />
But it sounds like you have our heart in the right place.

He dumped me, buffalo!<br />
<br />
I'm worried now because a family has moved in next-door-but-one to me - into a house that was really shabby, the gardens overgrown.<br />
<br />
They're doing up the house and have cleared the gardens.<br />
<br />
They seem like nice people, BUT, they are East Europeans, speak little English and the local thugs are already planning to drive them out!<br />
<br />
I won't let that happen.

Xiaomei: Thanks for your support. I'm glad to hear you didn't have any bad experiences in your travels. Were you with a gwailo?

Meggi51; Well that's a drag. Did you dump him?

Nightcolors: Thank you for your thoughts. If you want to go to Japan, I can tell you it's a very fair place. They don't care if you're black or white; they hate all foreigners equally. <br />
OK, OK, I'm joking, but not much. If you are not from Japan (which they will jump to point out is a homogeneous society) then you are "gaijin". If you try to get an apartment, the real estate agent will call to see if it's still available "Yes". Next question, "Do you take gaijin" "No" <br />
It took me 6 months to find a place that would let me rent. My white friend had the same problem. They want us gaijin to live only in certain districts, most of which are exorbitantly expensive. I didn't want to live in a gaijin ghetto. I wanted to live near my dojo in the old part of Tokyo 'shitamachi'. I found the perfect place through a friend. That's the key: connections. But I encountered the same difficulty when my boyfriend and I wanted to find a new place together so I know it doesn't matter whether you're an interracial couple or not.<br />
<br />
Having said that, I loved living in Japan. They have a love/hate relationship with foreigners. Although they are xenophobic and don't want any of us marrying their sons or daughters, they still view us as cool. The youth go to great lengths to emulate foreigners. There's the surfer crowd who tans their skin to leather and bleaches their hair blond and the hiphop crowd who tans their skin to leather and perms their hair into nappiness. I could go on.<br />
You'd love it but the economy sucks right now. You could teach ESL there but I hear the hourly wage has dropped from a minimum of $30 per hour down to $10. Anyway, I'd highly recommend the place. It's a trip.<br />
<br />
As for Ireland, I visited there on a number of occasions but never lived there. My first husband was Irish and we never got any funny looks while there. Beautiful country.

Okay, buffalotus.....<br />
<br />
Back in 1981, I began dating a guy - all white British, just like me.<br />
<br />
Things were going fine, till, one evening, in our local bar, an ex-boyfriend of mine came in. <br />
<br />
We greeted one another with a hug and set to catching up.....<br />
<br />
For the rest of the evening, my current boyfriend was cool toward me.<br />
<br />
He wouldn't say anything in public, but when we got to my house, he let rip......<br />
<br />
My ex-boyfriend was black and my current boyfriend couldn't handle the fact that I'd been INTIMATE with a N***er!

Meggi51:I'm on the other side of the world from you and I'm fairly up to my eyeballs with work in a very poor country so please cut me some slack if I can't answer immediately.<br><br />
<br><br />
OK. I'm not denying that there is racism in the UK. As you've pointed out, the Eastern Europeans are the latest wave of immigrants and as with each round of newcomers, there is renewed resentment that "they're taking our jobs" which as you've explained is not the case. <br><br />
<br><br />
Sure, every country has it's prejudices. Cambodians think that Koreans are the best businessmen, that the Thai's are arrogant temple-stealers and that the Vietnamese are the cause of all the drug and prostitution problems. <br><br />
<br><br />
Yes, every country has its biases but what we're discussing here specifically is <br><br />
prejudice against interracial couples in America. By interracial, I'm referring to a white partner with a minority partner: black, Asian, Pacific Islander, Native- American, Hispanic or middle-eastern. I'm not referring to intercultural , for example Italian-American and Irish-American. As far as minority people see it: They're both white. Let them have at it.<br><br />
<br><br />
What I'm talking about is the intolerance for interracial couples in a society that brags about being so progressive and modern and is supposedly the melting pot of the world. The American society is either hypocritical or delusional.<br><br />
<br><br />
Read the stories in the mixed race section and you'll see how unhappy they all are. <br><br />
Three months ago , I posted a question asking people to share an uplifting, funny or positive story about being raised in a mixed household and got jumped all over by the "How dare you ask that? We are all humans" crowd so there's definitely some discomfort and defensiveness there.<br><br />
What I'm saying is this problem existed 30 years ago when I lived in the US and as far as I can see there has been little or no progress in people's views of interracial couples because everyone is denying the problem exists.<br><br />
Repeatedly chanting the "We are all just humans" mantra doesn't make it so. What it does do is make us feel better. It gives us the illusion of being open-minded and colorblind but it does not change the reality of the matter. By chanting the mantra and sitting there in complacency,we are avoiding taking action.<br><br />
If you want to tell us about how people in the UK view interracial couples, Meggi51, let's hear it.

buffalotus.<br />
<br />
I've posted several responses to this thread, but not one has been responded to!

No Meggi51, you don't have to be mixed race or in a mixed race relationship to comment here. Everybody's welcome here. Share with us

Drmarvinmonroe: The racism I experienced was not confined to a handful of d-bags. It existed in every town my white father and my 'colored' mother moved us to. I witnessed my mother being snubbed by local women's circles, my father getting bypassed for promotions. He even successfully sued the government at one point because they wouldn't give him security clearance. It was revealed during the trial that due to their racial bias my father was a considered security risk for having a 'colored' spouse. I witnessed and was subjected to racism for 21 years before I left the States.<br><br />
You went to two countries and ran into a handful of drunks who teased you and your Chinese girlfriend? Now that's what I'd call a couple of isolated cases which were very mild compared with what I repeatedly went through in the US. My husband and I haven't encountered such prejudice anywhere in Europe or in Asia.

Does one have to be of mixed race or in a mixed race relationship before one's comments are acknowledged here......?

Patorice, thank you for your honesty and observations.

Tatteredwings: After 21 years in an interracial marriage, it doesn't sound like you and your spouse are any better received now than you were back then. That's the way it seems to me too. My parents were married 50 years ago and though the bigotry was much more evident then, it's still just underneath the surface in most communities now.

Mr.VincentVega, you must be strong if you are in a gay, interracial relationship in South Georgia! Hats off to you. Y'all be careful now.<br />
And your partner going into his 'gangsta' act when he's around blacks, well that's automatic defense mode, isn't it. Does he feel the need to act straight too, I wonder?

Mstammi: molte grazie. My father is Napolitano. His wife- my mother- is Cherokee and black. Each side of the family welcomed the other side but because of anti-miscegenation (anti-interracial) laws,which weren't repealed until 1967 (Loving vs Virginia), my parents had to move from the east coast where their families lived, to California in order to get married. And even there, they endured prejudice so most of my parents friends were not American-born. <br><br />
Grandpa, Grandma and all of their 9 kids including Dad, were born in Italy. You're right: At family gatherings we kids were given a little wine or beer with meals. It was no big thing. None of us grew up abusing alcohol. <br><br />
I agree with you that it is the Puritanical foundation of the States which is the cause of their hang-ups about race, alcohol, sex. Their piety and self-righteousness is hypocritical in the face of of their high divorce and crime rate and war-mongering.<br><br />
America has a lot of growing up to do and that won't happen as long as they are in a state of denial.

A few years ago - I think it was around 2005 - there were a series of race riots in a small area of the North of England.<br />
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What made these riots different was that white people weren't involved<br />
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They involved Asian (of Indian origin) and Afro-Carribbean youths.<br />
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I truly believe that the colour of one's skin isn't necessarily an issue when it comes to racial prejudice.<br />
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Currently, the most despised group in the UK are the migrants from East European countries.<br />
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As it was in the 'fifties and 'sixties when migrants arrived from the CArribbean, then in the 'seventies and 'eighties, when the Asians arrived in numbers, the misguided opinion was that, 'They're coming over here, taking jobs from us.'<br />
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It wasn't true then and it isn't true now.<br />
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The vast majority of migrants to the UK are taking the low-paid, long- hours jobs that most native Brits don't want.

Smoothsphere and Sunbear, thank you for your observations.<br />
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Szadickt, thank you for your comments and for pointing out that ,indeed, any race of partner I took, it would be an interracial marriage.

xlao--see, I did read them, and that's why i felt like responding. I felt it was unrepresentative of what was actually going on...mainly, that America was full of backwards hicks and Europe was a shining beacon of hope when it comes to tolerance. In my own personal experiences, I just don't see it as that cut and dry--or if i wanted to be punny, black and white.

You're right, drmarvin. <br />
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I live in the UK, born and bred here, never travelled beyond the UK.<br />
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Racism is rife in certain parts of this country.

drmarvinmonroe: Just because your girlfriend met a handful of d-bags in Germany and Italy doesn't mean anything. I'm Chinese and I've never been treated badly in either country or any other country and I've traveled quite widely.<br><br />
So far the comments here by both non-Americans and Americans support<br />
Buffalotus' sentiments by 9 to 1. <br><br />
Read them.

I completely agree! I'm white, and I'm american, but I will be the first to tell you that "AMERICA SUCKS. WE HATE PEOLE THAT AREN'T WHITE AND SORRY. OBAMA MIGHT HELP, BUT I'LL TAKE MANY MORE YEARS FOR MORE PEOPLE TO BE ACCEPTED." that's the full and honest truth, sadly enough. <BR><BR>I think I'm gonna go live in Japan or Ireland when I'm old enough.

Obama is hated here unfortunately, I don't think it's because he's a Democrat =/

Woah, I don't usually comment, but I have some pretty good experience with this. My girlfriend, who is American like me, but of Asian decent, is studying abroad in Germany and has told me countless times of how she has been made fun of for being Asian over there. She has told me multiple times how she misses America for that sole reason that no one looked at her twice over here for her not looking like all the other white people.<br />
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In Germany she told me people stare and ask how can a Chinese person know English so well and get drinks poured on her. In Italy, when I came out to visit and travel with her, a group of about 4 Italian guys came up to us and started making stereotypical Chinese sounds at us and laughing at us. I can honestly say I'd never experienced that in my life here in America.<br />
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I think each country has its problems, but let's please not over-generalize as I'm seeing here by saying, "Yep, Americans are ignorant and self-absorbed" or whatever else BS you wanna try and stick to us. There's freaking 300,000,000 of us, and just because maybe you've met a handful of the d-bags doesn't give you the right to just bash us all. That goes for even Americans here as well. And by no means am I saying Europe is a racist cesspool of hate, either. I'm just pointing out it ain't all sunshine and candies on your side of the pond either.

I have been in an interracial marriage for 21 years, faced racisim dead in the eye, while the govt says it is dealing with racisim in the schools and society in general, it is running rampid through every community.

it could be worse you could be gay lol. my last and only boyfriend ever is mixed ( black and possibly mixed german; he looks like he's light-skinned) and when he gets around other black people he does this subconscious shift where he suddenly turns 'gangsta'. i live in a south georgia town so we had to be somewhat discreet affection-wise.

Well of course you are in an interracial marriage! Being multinese, how could you not be? I think multinese people are beautiful, and it doesn't b other me at ALL. There will always be those who hate because they think everyone should be "just like them" but I consider folks in that category to be in the lower echelons of intelligence. I can understand admiring someone for their differences, but not hating them.

Smoothsphere-man, I never thought about it like that before. I think that's right on.<br />
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Buffalotus-girl, I agree. People who say we're all human just want to avoid dealing with the whole issue of race. There are pockets of relative racial openness, usually in the major cities on the coasts, whereas most of the heartland is still in the Stone Age, racially speaking. And don't get me started about the South.

The only thing that will cure America's arrogance is when it loses its high standing in the world, economically and politically, when great numbers of people are suffering in the States even more so than they are now. Then there is the chance that that arrogance will be supplanted by a more down-to-earth realism. We'll just have to wait and see.

Thank you. And you're right. I don't really want to move back or think I have to. I do hope, however, that with a mixed race president in office, attitudes towards Multinese and intermarriage will change for the better.