I Feel As Though I Have Few Family, and Few Friends.

i feel as though my life is far from perfect, i feel as though my past has haunted me for the worst. I feel in love with the girl of my dreams, then it must have been something from me, i told my mom things about her that were true but she didnt want to admit to her its not true. I love her and miss her, but she dumped me cuz she think my mom doesnt like her. Everything and everyone thinks shes cool. i feel as though my mom barely talks to meet, and the rest i barley talk to them. I just want to end it all. my past when i was younger i was mentally abused, from parents, peers throughout college, i have lied a lil, stolen, nothing to drastic. im just all messed up someone help me please !