First Blog (introduction)

Hi I've been coming to terms being all right with the decisions I make in my life regarding my sanity and my Dad. I suppose I should start with what bothers me the most. My parents fought off and on and I was always "Daddy's little girl." They eventually divorced after being separated for many years. My Mom was ill and dying from breast cancer. I moved in with my Dad when I was 16 because I couldn't care for my Mom any longer. She needed professional help. She passed away when I was 18 and my Dad told me I needed to move about five months after she died; which I did. I worked all the time to support myself. During their separation, he met his future wife. While getting to know them over the last 13 years has had it's advantages, it's been really hard on me. My Dad has become quite distant and has started drinking rather heavily. He and his wife drink all the time. She is particular with what they do in their lives. My dad used to call me at 8:55 and always say he goes to bed at 9. Now he only calls me on my office line. It hurts my feelings that he wants nothing to with me or my boyfriend. He chooses not to include me in his life or if he does then it's always on his terms. When we do go to his house for obligatory birthday or alternating holidays he and his wife always talk badly about family members. It makes me think he talks about me and my boyfriend when we're not there. When my boyfriend and I first got together four years ago I made the mistake of telling my sister things about him and his points of view towards others. I confided in her and she told my dad and since then he and his wife and my sister think badly about him and judge him. My boyfriend doesn't like him because he left when my mom was sick and didn't offer to help me in my time of need to get me headed in the right direction. I could've really used emotional guidance. He has quite a bit of money and leads a pretentious I'm better than you lifestyle and only says in my time of financial need you'll figure it out. It just wasn't what I needed to hear. There is no emotional support. It's been hard struggling the relationship with my boyfriend and the awkward one with my dad. Everything is fake. I don't know what to do anymore, he's alienating himself from the family. He got into a fight with his 85 year old step-dad and his mom and hasn't been in their lives for a year. He invited everyone to Bodega Bay for Christmas excluding them. We said we'd only be there on night so we could see my bf's family and he got upset and still hasn't gotten over it. We went to see my grandma in the hospital because she was sick with pnuemonia and there during Christmas and my dad got mad that we left early even though we told him we would be. I have only seen him once since then and that's when I was in the hospital in Feb. I just don't understand why he is alienating himself with the people who care most about him. I think it may be his wife but I don't know I just can't have a relationship with someone who is so judgemental.
btrswt btrswt
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 25, 2010

Thanks :) I'm starting to set boundaries even though it makes me sick inside and uneasy.