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I Have No Self Confidence Or Self Esteem

Theres Nothing To Me.

By: xXLittleLostAliceXx
Written on April 5th, 2010

Title says it all. I never have been anything to anyone. Im adopted by various familiy member and have been sincee i was three and I constantly lived in the shadow or their kids or my sister. I was never the pretty one, I am the fat nerdy annoying unatheletic disappointment to the family of beauty , drama qeens and jocks. Lucky for me i mved in with my grandparents a few years back so atleast I have my own space. Unfortnately nto only am i the fattest thing to them (not joking ive been put on the craziest diets by them) now Im not smart enough either. Its scary because that was the only comfort i have you know? It ws something i was okay at but no they ******** that away from me too. My self esteem has sunk to the point that in the past two months i have cut my hair to cver three/fourth of my face, and wear a halfmask. Which isnt so bad because now when im forced into public people dont make fun of me anumore they just avoid me. I probably sound pathetic, but i just wish I was good enough for someone or something you know? Sometimes i get so tired of being the useless little freak i am. Sometimes i just wish I was someone else who was prettier and smarter and well normaler i guess.

By: xXLittleLostAliceXx
Age: 16-17 , Female
313 people have read this story

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3 responses
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    fuckyou10
    fuckyou10

    Learn to spell and use proper grammar for God's sake. I wanted to poke my eyes out reading your sob-story.

    Nov 22, 2012
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    sherry123456789
    sherry123456789

    Awwww. I know what you are feeling. Many people do.



    Every person is special and we all have something to offer this world. Sometimes it takes some of us, I am in this "some of us" a long time to find out what they are. Please don't give up on yourself. You are so young, you have a long life ahead of you. With time and exploring you will find what is so special about you. I am sorry you have been through the system of adoption.



    You sound like you are very depressed. Depression can easily lead to suicide, I hope you do not ever contemplate this thought. If you do please do me a favor and read my story under I say this because I care. I want to talk about suicide. If you ever want to talk please email me.



    Take care.

    Jul 8, 2010
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    claysu
    claysu

    If you listen to what you tell yourself, you'll probably hear yourself repeating to yourself what you have been told, that you are' less than', 'no good' etc. That is just the story you have been told. We all need to have stories about ourselves but they are still just stories. Really we are all pure love. Change the story. Why not, it is just the story You tell Yourself. You are fine, with your talents, your good points and a place in the world. Show up as you and let love express itself through you. That can on.y be beautiful.

    Apr 5, 2010
    1 like