None Whatsoever.

It's weird to say this, but I truly do have no self respect. I'm overweight, I don't like my face, hair, skin color, body shape, anything, but would seriously give up my virginity to anyone who wanted to take it. I've never been kissed, I've never been touched in a sexual way, I've never had anyone want me in those ways that would actually go through with it. It's depressing and upsetting that that hasn't happened, but I just want to be wanted so badly. I want to have someone touch me. I don't care if they later just want to leave after they're done. At least in the time they were touching me they wanted me in some way. I feel so bad about myself and even if they just wanted to use me and abuse me I would be fine with it. If they said they wanted me to be their girlfriend then cheat on me after I said I would be, I would be fine with it. I know it's wrong. I know that this isn't a good thing to be okay with, but I feel I have no other option then to let it happen. I've tried losing weight. I'm trying as I type. I've starved myself for days at a time, only to be watched over and fed by my mother. I've tried a real diet and working out only to see no difference in my appearance. I hate myself and I hate that I'm not changing. But my virginity is nothing to me. If someone who was 35 years old wanted it, I would give it to them. I'm only 17 and I would honestly let someone twice as old as me take it from me and not regret a thing. I know it's not good, but I don't care about myself and therefore don't care what happens to me.
RandaJM RandaJM
18-21, F
May 24, 2012