Fragile. Isn't That Italian?

I am inappropriate and unsuitable to be played with by any normal human being. I am fragile, temperamental and three bricks short of a chimney. I have had a beer and in ten minutes will light up a plump and stinky sack of pot. I am going to motorboat you so hard your mom will feel it. I am going to steel your purse and buy some crack from the proceeds of your knock off bag. I am going to tell your mom that you cheated on me and send your dad the naked pictures of you via email. I am going to freebase a kitten or two. I am going to not mow my lawn for a whole week. I am going to tell you that you look fat in that outfit. I am going to tear the tag off our mattress.  I am going to steal a pack of condoms from your favorite Walgreen and hide it in your purse that I sold for crack. I am going to tell you that my vasectomy was fun and thanks for being celibate cause it was worth it. I am going to fart and blame the dog. i am going to pretend to care. I am going to rant. i am going to drive with the music at full blast while you scream at me to turn it down. I am going to hide your alleve. I am going to tell you that everything is just fine. I am going to suggest you need help. I am going to tell you to see a doctor if you are sick 3 weeks out of 4 a month. I am going to loose my mind and forget where I stored it. I am going to punch every bee in the face.
NotLarryBubkiss NotLarryBubkiss
36-40, M
Sep 9, 2012