Im All Ive Left Undone

ever since my mother died. i have seeked a feeling of fullfilment. ice been a loner most of my life. i have few friends now but its weird i dont know what to do of some of it.. and all my friends have had loved ones to continue for to strive for . . thats one subject i cant seem to hold onto ... until i met her. she had filled what has felt hallow for years . and healed what ever scars i carryi put auch a weight on her and she stuck by me and for once i had someone i felt i could truely mine . one who made me whole ... happy and free. .. her parents however have the best interest for her and can do the best for her . and i love her enough to let her parents take care of her. her family is very succesful and very good loving people. ... i how ever have had it very hard  to even hold a job ..i understand if her parents dont want their daughter left in the hands of someone whos had it so hard. i want her to be succesful fullfiled and happy . but she worries of me and my sake ... what she doesnt know is she worries of nothing i live a life where it would take a while for someone to notice if something happened to me .. so i search for my own fullfilment in life not to ever place that burden of someone being my other half or to fullfil me .. .... though i promised her my heart till i die or till she finds someone else . she worries if that  happend ... i would simply ask the man to take care of her where i obiously failed .. so i will wait and even if i am denied from that ... i wish her nothing but the absolute best . and i will always be here for here even if she doesnt know it
heidischainmailangel heidischainmailangel
26-30, M
Aug 8, 2010