I Had It All

I was once a successfull model i made shiet loads of money and had everything.

i was financialy stable and lived in the best apartments etc,.

i partied every nite done alot of drugs lol but it was fun life was exciting it was never dull,

then i turned bulimic and lost it all i got to skinny so i started doing thinspiration modeling
but it turned out to be my demise my bulimia got worse and i became to sick,.

i lost my job so couldn afford my apartment i lost my cars and all my friends
as they couldn cope with seeing me so sick and skinny,.

iv now recovered from bulimia but the after effects will never heal

iv experienced the highs and the lows in been dead 8 times and brought bak,
iv cut more times to bleed wot fat i thout i had but dont,.

the point is life is like a drug we get so high and to keep that high gets harder every time
after a while we crumble and fall its then i wished my friends had stayed with me,

insted once i lost it all they left me to bath in my own misery.,

i dont dislike them and iv reconnected with some of them but
to many im a failure a young guy who couldn cope with it,.

i feel empty i feel like i hav nothing left to give and hav nothing left to take,.

im just a breathing hollow corspe..

i cant even cry anymore or care like i use to,.