Went To A Counselor Today

I went to a school counselor today. It was an emotional experience. I told her how for the past week, I have been feeling unsettled and fearful because of the obsessive thoughts I have been having. She pointed out that most, if not all of my questions started with "what if." What if I'm crazy? What if I wake up one day with no will to live? What if I will never be happy? What if these thoughts never go away? What if I find no meaning in life anymore? What if I can't be helped? What if I constantly question everything forever? etc...After pointing this out to me, she explained how "what if" questions all tend to be linked to anxiety. After all, "what if" questions cause a person to think (hypothetically) into the future and can make one think of some pretty scary/unsettling scenarios that more than likely, won't happen. She told me that when I was going through this viscous, obsessive thought cycle, to think to myself..."Okay, well when it comes down to it, I will make the decision when I get there." This helps, temporarily, but the thoughts don't really go away. I am visiting with a PA tomorrow to discuss some possible medications for anxiety that should quiet down the negative thinking cycle. As of right now, I have only been on an antidepressant and have Xanax as needed. I guess she doesn't recommend Xanax for long-term, persistent anxiety because it is more for panic attacks? Anyway, so I will see what the PA recommends tomorrow. It's funny, because as I'm writing this, I'm thinking to myself..."what if" the medication doesn't work? "what if" I always feel this way? It's so consuming. I have waves of hopeful thoughts, but they never last long. We will see what tomorrow brings.
HeretoHelp09 HeretoHelp09
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

Good Luck Tomorrow!!!