Obsessed With My Nipples/breastsy
I am ruining my life because I must either pump my breasts or have a friend suckle me every couple of hours. In between I rub my nipples constantly because they are tender and orgasmic. I feel compelled to keep my breasts exposed whenever I am alone. I can remember at the age of 5 being obsessed with my breasts because a male guest of my parents took me to his bed almost daily after school while my parents were at work: he sucked and sucked on my non-existent breasts until they were red and sore. Sexually he never penetrated me vaginally with his organ, he seemed to like my breasts but once in a while he did what I later learned was oral sex and I felt so very confused because I loved it. And I learnd to love his suckling of my tiny nipples. This went on for about a month, when he left. He made me afraid to tell my parents, but from that time on I yearned to have my breasts suckled and I would take any opportunity to let anyone suck them, male or female, any age, often being horribly embarrassed. Nursing my own Children when I grew older did not give the satisfaction I needed, and so after 1 of 2 children, I chose not to nurse. I am no longer married (my husband did not like to suckle me. Now I am almost sick because of the chronic need to pump or be suckled, and in between I can just rub my nipples hard and I ******. I don't need nor can ****** when I pump or am suckled: it's just a feeling of a chronic orgasmic state. I especially chose to go to bars where it is easy to lure a man into the back and get him to suckle: they don't always demand intercourse. When I go out on ordinary chores, every two hours or less, I have go to the Ladie's toilet and suck on my own nipples. I WANT THIS TO STOP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS OBSESSION THAT IS RUINING MY LIFE BECAUSE IT DEMANDS CONSTANT PHYSICAL URGES THAT I MUST SATISFY. I FEEL THAT I AM MENTALLY ILL. I PRAY THAT SOMEONE CAN HELP ME.