It's a New Diagnosis

but I've had these symptoms for over 10 years. I never really thought about them, much less told anyone. The obsessive thoughts, especially, half seemed like something everybody did but nobody talked about, and half a personality flaw that I should be ashamed of and "just get over." It seems pretty weird that I internalized it for so long -- I've been so convinced that I could make the thoughts and compulsions go away if I just tried hard enough. Finally told a doctor and I'm waiting to start meds.
I've told a few people already. It's really cathartic, being able to share it, especially shaking that sense that there's something wrong with me. I mean, i guess there is something wrong with me, but not in the way that I thought.
Zandze Zandze
26-30, F
2 Responses Apr 15, 2007

I got OCD at six years old and spent the next few decades not knowing what was going on and rlly with no one to talk to as my family didn't except it. I spent a lot of that time feeling ashamed and such too, and trying to hide things, especially up through my teens and young adulthood. But there is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about. You're a perfectly normal person, who happens to have this disorder.
Actually I posted this response to someone on ep here just this morning.
"I think what most ppl who don't have OCD don't realize is that ppl with OCD are perfectly normal rational ppl like everyone else, and that we merely have a faulty "alarm switch" of sorts in our brain. Basically in layman's terms, the average person will become alarmed at something and go to check that it's ok, and once they have checked ONCE they see all is fine, and so all instantly goes back to normal. But in OCD, once that alarm bell has been triggered in our brain? it's often REALLY difficult to get it to shut off and feel at ease again. But the really BIG problem complicating this too, is that the part of the brain with this faulty stuck switch is in a very primal basic part of the human brain, like where the primitive drives of "fight or flight response", you know, the basic alarm of the survival drive that kept early humans alive as a species is. I mean, and so we often if not always do know when and what we are feeling compelled to do is unnecessary or excessive, but still we just can't help feeling it all the same, because it's from a drive THAT strong."
Btw ive been on Prozac for the last six years and it's helped a lot. 😀 SSRI's are the best way to go in medication for OCD.

I actually enjoy some of my ocd symptoms im obsessed with cleaning ... i HAVE to dust my tables everyday i cant stand to have spots on them