Not So BadI have mild ocd. It started when I was a teenager...and got really bad around puberty. The rituals were things like turning lights off and on, reciting prayers over and over, thinking I could hear messages in songs, carefully setting my right shoe in front of the left when I put them in the closet. I couldn't shake the horrible feeling of impending doom if I didn't do these things until they were exactly "right." I couldn't stop the thoughts of people I loved being taken a way or killed in horrible car accidents or whatever. Huge amounts of anxiety. Now, it's not so bad. Even without medicine, I don't have to do any rituals that interfere with anything, and I don't believe in god anymore, so prayers aren't going to help me anyway. I do take Paxil anyway, though, and it helps me to keep from biting my nails, and stops the thoughts that repeat over and over in my head, keeping me awake. Usually things like lines from movies, or pieces of music. I am really interested, however, in hearing about others' experiences with ocd, and not the suffering, but the advantages of having ocd. for example, as an actress, ocd is beneficial to me, because it makes memorizing scripts very easy. I am very good at mimic. It plays over and over in my head until I have the entire script memorized- not only my part, but everyone else's as well. It's funny though, because in general life, I tend to be very forgetful...I've had to replace my car keys I don't know how many times. But, I am really good at organizing things, and filing, ironing, and cleaning are very satisfying to me, because it means bringing order to something. So what beneficial things does ocd do in your life?
TraumaKitty 21-25, F 2 Responses 0 Jul 16, 2007