Yup.

Just one. Didn't start until I was 19. We broke up a few times, but always got back together. I always thought I'd get lucky somewhere else in between those break up times, and turned down a couple chances because they seemed like too much baggage, or not worth it at the time. Got married at 30, thinking if I didn't after all those years she'd leave, be sleeping with someone else in less than a month, and I'd have a lifetime of no more sex to look forward to. The breakups from the past served to validate my belief. Plus I was sick of people asking me when I was going to get married. Now I'm 31. It seems that my supposed highest purpose now, strangely, is to live an entire life in which only one person is slept with. I think I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for that chain of breakups where she got lucky and I didn't. But, I'll most likely have to find a way to get past this and just be satisfied, that's the only choice that doesn't threaten each and every one of my friendships, family relationships, life stability, career, etc. From the very day I met her I was telling myself it would be best to end up with her, but that I should have gotten my start elsewhere. But I never thought I'd still be thinking the way I am at 31, we all ought to know better.

phracktle phracktle
31-35, M
Aug 4, 2010