What I Have With My Husband Is Rare

I dated in highschool,had boyfriends, prom dates, I wasn't the prettiest girl but I always found someone I could connect with. I had temptations and moments of weakness but I always stopped before it went too far. I was raised in the church and I think it instilled a healthy fear of sin. I also come from a family where all my female relatives are extremely fertile. I always knew I was one of those unlucky ones that could get pregnant on the first time. Good call, because I got pregnant with both my kids within a month of going off birth control. Anyway, I met my husband when I was 21. He also was raised in a Christian home and had spent his 2 years out of highschool traveling Canada with a ministry group so he didn't have many opportunities for a relationship. We met in a ministry internship in Kansas City where we were not allowed to date for one year in the program. Of course we fell in love in the first week and had to spend 12 hours a day together. It was pure torture. We ended up breaking the rules and sneaking away at night together. I'm ashamed to say there was a lot of sexual experimentation going on but we managed to not have intercourse. It was just too much temptation. After one year we quit the program and decided we would get our own apartments and do our best to wait til we were married. It was very difficult, but we were still leaders in the church and tried to live a good example. After 2 years we set our wedding date and we still waited. Then 2 weeks before our wedding we gave in & had sex. I still can't believe I went my whole life trying to stay a virgin til I was married only to mess up 2 weeks before. We've been married for 10 years and have stayed faithful. I think its harder emotionally to cheat if you didn't have sex partners before your spouse. Even though I've gotten older and gained weight we have incredible sex. This idea that your sex life will be boring if you don't have prior experience is a lie. The fun was learning and experimenting together. I think it was the best choice and it gives us an unusually close bond . It's so sad that people are ridiculed for staying virgins and the people that don't wait pretend it makes you abnormal or less able to be a good lover.
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2 Responses Aug 8, 2012

And not going to say who I did with because it is stigmatized!

My story is similar to yours except we messed up about a month before the wedding, but my husband has been my only. I'm so glad to be able to say that.