My Out of Control Thoughts Are Usually About Worry.

Even the slightest event can cause my mind to start racing uncontrollably from one horrible thought to another. Like the other night when my parents were out  at a party, they said they would be back by a certain time, and it was almost an hour after that when I finally got a hold of my mom on her phone, and asked her where she was. I had been thinking that they had been in some kind of awful wreck, and had been taken off to the hospital, and no one knew how to contact my sister and me about it, or they had been arrested for drinking and driving, or someone at the party had a gun, and had mass murdered everyone there.

 

Or like the other day when I ate these panckakes that I made too thick, so they didn't cook in the middle, and after eating one, I realized there could be salmonella that didn't get cooked, and I might possibly get sick the next day, so I started pannicking. It got so bad that I went for the red wine after I couldn't sleep, and had a stomach ache all the next morning, making me think I was dying of a bacterial infection, and would soon have to be carted off to the hospital, where I would die of dehydration, and never get to publish my novel, which is the only worthwhile thing I feel like I've done in my life.

 

No matter how many times my mind goes crazy, and then reality proves it wrong, that does not seem to stop me from pannicking time and time again.

LonelySoul LonelySoul
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 21, 2007

i worry all the time. but then have 4 kids and2 grand kids. youll need meds and therapy it might help.

I use to be that way always thinking about my kids were going to get hurt. I could picture it so in detailed that I couldnt function with my everyday life. Im DX Bipolar and I just got on my meds and Im not haveing the thoughts anymore I dont feel much of anything anymore but its better than always being in a panic.