Uninvited Thoughts

i hate alot of the thoughts i get, they normally consist of things that i just dont want to think about like suicide, losing my mum and sister and having to be left with my dad and that one in particular scares me, cos i could never stay with my dad on my own, no way, so i hate it when my mum and sister go somwhere and there back later then they should be cos i think that something might have happened to them, and the i also think about awful things happening to my firends, like a couple of my closest ones went to france last year with college and i was scared that the boat would sink or something adn that was all that went through my head.

i know i have really big fears of losing people im close to or i love or i get on with in terms of my mum and sister and it just gets slightly out of control at times cos its just a constant paranioa that something will happen. i think that it might be because i find it hard to get close to people anyway, so if i lost one of them, then i would find it hard to get close to anyone else cos i'l be scared of losing them.

because ive moved around a bit, its ment that ive lost a few friends along the way, so i guess thats just what im afraid of, yer they didnt die, but i never saw alot of the again or had contact, so it was like they were dead, cos they were just no longer there, so thats my out of control thoughts, losing people!

sezy sezy
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 20, 2007

I totally understand. I have lost so many friends that did not die. I am very afraid of loosing the ones I really love, because I don't have too many of them. These days, it is just my family, and two best friends. Gosh, if anything happened to either of my friends, I don't know how I would make new friends or if I would want to. I know that these thoughts are hard to control, but it is possible. I am not really sure how to be honest, because I have not found a way. Pray.. I will pray for you..