Ovarian Cyst the Worry
Recently I started to feel a sharp kind of numb pain on my right side. I tried to ignore it and took paracetamol and ibrupofen and no joy. Most pains I feel never last that long and normal drugs always do the trick, so obviously I became frantic with worry. I am an excessive worrier, but I generally only go to the doctors when something is wrong. In any case I moved and my old doctors never had an appointment for 2 weeks so I decided to go A & E. First they thought it was my appendix and then after a whole weekend of being drugged I was given an ultra sound and they said I had a fibroid and ovarian cyst measuring just over 5cm. I have never got pregnant despite trying and so I am more worried that I will never have children because there were also tiny cysts on my left ovary. The gyno at the hospital was not that helpful and only got me more worried when he said he was going to do C125 tumour tests and other tests for cancer. After research I have seen this test is now done to see if any markers show for cancer. Everyone has said to me that if there were any signs to worry about the doctor would have not released me, but again I feel constantly worried that this thing is inside me just growing. The test came back in two days for the cancer markers, which were all clear, but then I read on the internet that this still does not rule out ovarian cancer, it is just one of the checks they do and they can never be sure until they remove or biopsy the cyst. I do understand that cysts are common and can grow and become really large, but here in the uk on the NHS so far the worry has been caused by not getting answers to a lot of my questions. Like other stories I have read it just makes you feel like telling the doctors to remove everything and get it over and done with. I am anticipating when I have to go back to the hospital in 6 weeks, but it gets to the point where I find difficulty sleeping and having a normal life because I am so worried. I read my bible and talk to God, but I just think for any woman going through this is just awful. I am 31 soon to be 32 and I just am tired of talking to my friends and family about it, who just tell me not to worry.
For all other women going through this, I know what you are feeling and I do think it is hard for others to understand. Its almost like you having a 9" nail sticking out of your head and the doctors saying "we will keep an eye on it, but don't worry." I know that a lot of cysts go away by themselves and others have to be removed via various operations depending on the size of the cyst, its placement and various other factors, but I just find the NHS at the moment unhelpfull. I have already had to go and have my smear done privately, but sometimes if you do not push for things they just will not listen. My whole experience just worries me more. For instance, when I was in the hospital I was not far from being operated on because they were sure it was my appendix, so bravo if it was my appendix, but this whole guesstimation thing as I call it only worries patients more.
I am sitting here now crying because I just want this whole few months to go away.
On the upside I am not feeling pain anymore, just a few tinges here and there, but none the less I will not know what the scenario will be until I go for my 6 week appointment. My boyfriend can see something is wrong, he knows about everything, but again does not really understand what I am going through, but I am trying my best to do normal day to day things, but I keep getting terrible dreams and am just scared. It doesn't help that I have never stayed in a hospital before, never had any major illness or operations, just normal colds and flus or depression, but nothing like this and this whole thing has just made me realise I have to change my life, so maybe this was all a wake up call from god to say start living your life!! Who knows, but feel free to comment if you are or have gone through anything like this.
Stay positive, even if I cannot right now.