Not Dead Yet

Not every attempt was a suicide attempt. Sometimes life gets so damned hard to live with. But then I see others who stryggle more than I and  I feel such a failure....I have overdosed on ambien, seroquel, vailum, xanax, percocet, vicodin, cold medicine, and others I cannot remember. Oh, and alcohol.


I don't know what to do anymore. Institutionalization is not an option.

bluehaiku bluehaiku
41-45, F
7 Responses Feb 26, 2009

just curious why is instituion is not an option?
I have been in them and they have helped but you have to be willing to help yourself.
The only way things get better and getting out of your routine and do something out of your comfort zone. Have you ever wanted to do something but never have make a bucket list.
life may suck and instead of trying to kill yourself try living it may be more successful.

We all have our battles, just because mine is different then yours doesnt make yours anyless important. We all have our own level of tolerance, and life can be a cruel *****. We usually make our own misery and I think that is part of who we are, But together we can help each other. I woke up feeling devastated and wanting to just die, but writing here has helped. Still sad and tired of all of my stuff but it has made it more tolerable.

OK...I have a good one...look for it...

I'm glad dopecouselor had some practical advice because I don't know anything about these drugs. I am with you though in my thoughts and I don't want you to feel guilty for feeling this way, just know that I am really glad that I met you. I count you as my friend and I expect good things for you soon. i want you to write me stories anyway. Nice memories of experiences please. Something recent?:)

I didn't know I could have seizures...

Those are the kinds of things that plague me and meke me guilty.

I just learned that my sister has cancer, she loves life so much and yet a sickness is going to take her life.