In my life, everytime something really good happens, something really bad happens right after that.  ANYTHING I am really looking forward to NEVER happens.  Or it happens but is nothing like I thought it would be.  Now it is like a constant fear I have to be happy.  I am getting married, but it's almost too good to be true so I'm afraid to tell anyone.  Because if I talk it up then something will ruin it.  If I don't do that myself by driving my fiance away.  I am terrified that I will do that, especially since we are not on good terms at this particular moment.  I live in constant fear everyday that I will lose him, just because of the general rule of my life that nothing can work out right.  I wonder if this is normal.

urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2009

it may just be your luck!

Thank you =] I've really been trying to do that. But the fear is always lurking in the back of my mind.

Honey! have faith in yourself and faith in God. enjoy the present moment and you will feel at ease.