Everything Is A Threat.

I recently just found out that i have panic disorder, it all started when i had a bad experience in january with my friends, they decided to go buy some pot and we smoked it... after about 10 minutes or so i started having a really bad trip. I wanted to call an ambulance. But ever since ive had these panic attacks, i wished theyd just go away, im not a bad kid, i just made a bad choice and now i have to suffer with this. I feel trapped sometimes. I worry about the smallest things killing me, i always get pains throughout my entire body, the doctor put me on clonazopam( i was on zoloft for a day and i found out that i am allergic) as needed and it seems to help but when i dont take it i feel like im a mess, i have terrible mood swings, i feel angry 99.9 percent of the time, and i take it out on my boyfriend of 2 years, and at the same time i know what im doing and i know i shouldnt be doing it but my mind wont let me stop it. I have been seeing a therapist and its not really helped yet, i constantly worry about my health now, i worry about strokes, blood clots, brain tumors, and much more. IM ONLY 18! I should be living my life and i feel controlledd by all of this stress suddenly placed upon me. I hate it, i sometimes hate myself because of it. but i know its not completely my fault, seeing that my dad does have this disorder too. I just never would want to place this upon someone, not even my worst enemy. To me everything poses a threat to my health, mind and me period. its hard to deal with. :( and I hope some of you that have struggled with it longer can give me some advice. it would be greatly appreciated<3
BirdsandtheBees BirdsandtheBees
18-21, F
6 Responses Apr 23, 2011

Hi, I'm exactly the same. Only 20 but anxiety makes my life so hard! have panic attacks all the time. Also so paranoid about about everything but mainly my health. I think I have blood clots, cancer, all sorts. Glad to hear the medication helps you though as I've been putting off trying medication for way too long because of all the negative stuff you hear about it. Going to see a doctor about it next week will have to try some kind of medication.
Good luck with your anxiety and hope the therapy starts to work.

It's almost the exact same story for me. I'm turning 20 this month and I've had panic attacks since I was 16, the first one being when I had a bad trip smoking pot as well. I'm constantly afraid. Every tickle or pain I get, I need to massage it because it's "probably a blood clot". Every time I get dizzy, it's a "stroke". Every time my chest hurts (I have asthma), it's a "heart attack". I hate living like this. I feel like my fear is running my life. I'm scared of everything. I just want to be normal.

Hey u are definatly not alone I hav been suffereing from panic disorders on and off since I was in fourth grade its horrible bcus the make u think the silliest stuff that can't actually happen to u will. I remeber i wen I was younger I had to leav school or else. Somthin horrible would happen. Stupid things from heads exploding to choking on absolutly nothin<br />
To afraid to jus stop breathin for no reason.took prozac kolanopin xanax..so many doctor trips to convince me I was completely healthy. It was crazy.<br />
It eventually went away when I hit 7th grade id still get them from time to time but it was minor n didn't require meds. High school was fine some here and there but managable...then in <br />
O3 my father passed away of a heartattack that's when I lost it again they were bad nights in the hospital becs of panic attacks that had my heart pounding my chest tight couldn't breathe.thought I was havin one but nope jus bad panic attacks. Thinking the same things everythings wrong with u. You become a hypochondriac.somethin bad s gonna happn even tho evrythin is fine. N girl smokin pot wen u have that makes it worse I know that for a fact happend to me a while back felt like I was goin to b high forever I was paranoid as hell..lol. mayb u smoking triggered it but it gets better trust me I've had them bad.

Depression and anxiety go hand n hand it sux but don't lose hope ppl u aren't alone many ppl suffer from this and it is managable with and without medication...meditation and relaxed breathing techniques help.in thru ur nose n out thru ur mouth...and imagine the colors of the rainbow passin thru ur body from the top of ur head to the tip of feet and as each color goes thru u with each breath it takes all ur worries an anxiety away with it start with Red to Orange to Yellow to Green to Blue to Indigo then finally violet. Imagine ur worries and anxiety drifting far far away. Hope this helps I have a few other techniques feel free to ask:-)

Im 17 and I have had panic disorder since my freshman year.... I smoked some weed and ever since I've worried about dying everyday. Its pretty ridiculous I rarely leave the house now. This has severely crippled me emotionally. I feel depressed but im not sure if I was depressed before or after the attacks. The funny thing is I didn't have the attacks until the third time I smoked. But I agree this is the absolute worst thing for somebody to have to live with. My attacks are very severe and I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

yes i completely understand you:) haha and i was thinking it was K-9 aka spice. because it only affected me nobody else in that room was affected. im really sensitive to a lot of things. I am no on prozac and have been for a while, it helps A LOT! i almost feel normal again though i do still worry from time to time

Hi. The pot you said you bought, was it actually spice? the legal weed you can buy at smoke shops? because the exact same thing happened to me. i smoked the spice for my first time and i thought i was dying and wanted to call 911. even after that incident i have had panic attacks. and i also worry about the same exact things! i worry about cancer, heart attacks, strokes, aneurysms, any health problems you name it. i am only 16 and before this i never had panic attacks, or even anxiety. i would never worry about this kinda stuff. and the weeird thing is is that this happened to me in january, too. i hope you know you are not alone with this. i have tried to find ways to get rid of it but nothing has worked.... i do not know what to do. i am still very shocked that the same thing has happened to someone, i thought i was alone.