Waiting

this just recently started happening. About a month or two ago i had a recent caffeine over dose which was a near death experience, i was seconds away from dying. I am soo grateful to be alive right now. After it happened, I have had panick attacks, but thats a different story. I now am constantly paranoid. It is almost taking control of my life and i am trying to put an end to the paranoia by myself since my family just makes fun of me. Reason why i am paranoid, my little brother is into heavy drugs and i am afraid that he might kill me either on purpous or on accident. he does them everyday. If a 7 hr energy shot almost killed me, then im sure a stimulant drug such as cocaine would kill me for sure. What made it worse is the fact that he had threatened to put shrooms in my food. I would go into a heart attack if i ate them on accident because i would freak out with the hallucenagens, i also have panick disorder.This paranoia is ******* me off and i long to be the carefree person i was before. I am very sad, and depressed and dont know what to do at this point. Trying to live a normal life. It is a constant battle. If anyone has any advise, it would be greatly appreciated.
oreo20 oreo20
18-21
Aug 8, 2012