It Never Ends.

I think I have Paranoid Personality Disorder.

I'm currently engaged. And pregnant, which makes all my emotions so much more flustered. To be honest, I'm not sure why, but I don't hardly trust. Trust doesn't come easy to me.
That's sad, I know. But I can't help it.

I think it stems from my elementary and middle school years. I was always told I was ugly. When I did have a 'boyfriend,' everyone would make fun at and of him because he was with me. When I reached high school, and moved, it all stopped. Guys actually liked me, talked to me, etc. But unfortunately, I just cannot let go of the past. And it puts so much pressure on my relationship.

Not to mention, there are other problems. Like, with the trust. I don't trust my fiance, with anything. He's done things in our relationship that I can't even believe. He's been drunk so many times and I have had to take care of him, he has gotten so messed up on Xanax in the past, he hides things from me, and I feel so left out of everything that goes on.

Now, I feel uncomfortable with him even leaving the same room as me, because I think he's going to get drugs from someone, or do something stupid.

Everything consumes me. I've had times where I've wanted to leave the relationship, but then I always go back.

I just don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm putting so much stress on my baby too.
I just want things to be easier. I want help to feel better.
BGabryella BGabryella
18-21, F
1 Response Oct 27, 2012

At what ppint did you realise you have Paranoid personality Disorder?? i have an extremley close friend and no one can get through to her that there is a problem. Her husband has recently left the family home for the safety of both of them... She as become violent and reckless with most things in herlife... I can ony hope that she too can see thereis a problem a did you.