A 30 Year Secret

When I was 6 year old, I entered the basement of my Grandparents house, closing the door behind me. I was pushed under the handrail of the steps and fell a few feet to onto a concrete floor. When I came to, I was being held down by a dark figure with eyes, those eyes. I could never put into words how they looked into you. It wanted me dead. I felt it. Total hatrted of me. I couldnt breathe or move. My father found me and interupted the "event."

After that exprience, I began to hear, see, and feel people who had passed on. I grew up in a religious family and a good home. I chose to keep this a secret and ignore (with little success) what I was seeing. I didnt want to be different and hoped it would go away in time.  Tried to forget what what I saw.


I joined the Marine Corps and served for 8 years. I have been a Police Officer for the past 7 years, didnt fix what I saw and I still I tried to supress it. I kept it from my wife of 12 years till just months ago. 

When I had been injured and off of work, I found it impossible to ignore any longer.  I began to accept what and who I was. You cant run from it


I have been trying (SLOWLY) to talk back. Today was a bad day for me and I cant sleep. I was scratched on both sides of my neck and torso by an unseen (what I believe to be) Demon.  Marks of the Trinity in four places. I made it leave, but this horrified me. Wife took photo's. Seeing it scared me even more.


Im done running, and hope to learn more. Im by myself and want to learn how to control the people who want to talk to me, but it becomes overwhelming at times when I try to "let go". Too many voices, too much info too fast from humuns who have passed. Sometimes its a slide show, or feelings of these people. Something out of the corner of your eye, or just horrifying images. OVERLOAD.

Anybody else been punishing yourself for years? Just trying to be normal and not stick out? Feels good to get a Gorilla off your back, but I dont know what what to do next. Now the "Paranormal" intrigues people. Back in 1980 they would have put me in a hospital. Anybody else ever think this might be the "NORMAL"? In the past hundred year, look how many people cant use the stars to navigate. They would starve in McDonalds closed, and would be devistated if they left their cell phone at home. Look how much GOOD KNOWLEDGE we have cast to the side. Imagine generations doing this over time, but its really sped up now. What else used to be Normal????




Luger41 Luger41
31-35, M
3 Responses Mar 15, 2010

I have been experiencing things since I can remember. Can Someone help? I have a strong ora that they are attracted to.

Thanks to all for the advice. I tortured myself for being different entirely too long. Kind words from others have really empowered me. I'm at a point where I would like to find others who embrace these gifts. Seems like we all have something in common, but at differing levels. NOT stronger or weaker gifts, JUST GIFTS. We all bring things to the table. I feel its the right time, mood and right evironment in society. People will discover once you make life simple, God speaks to us. Society moves too fast. I believe things happen for a reason. What they call the "Paranomal" might just be the "Normal" most have chosen ignore. I lost perspective. How many other are hiding or have no idea who they really are?

so,i'm not alone.you have to read my auto-biography.only 49 pgs cause i thought some was too deep.i will e-mail it to you free.i hope you will read it.i have dreams and visions.i've seen peoples deaths and more.my sister read it and said what is books purpose,your crazy or you see the future.both and more.in 2000 while straped down in prison i tried to end my life.God spoke to me.said everything i've seen comes from him.my 1st dream i remember was when jfk was shot.i was 4yrs old.in my dream i'm last in line viewing his body.as i'm about to go out the door a man hiding behind it slams it shut and starts poking me with an umbrella.i woke up screaming.later visions i saw everything and why.you know GOD is real,He spoke to you.how do you write a book to prove GOD is real.that was my true purpose.