Guys Have It Tough? Try Being A Girl With An Uneven Chest.

I was always self-conscious of my chest. I've had it for as long as I can remember and hated for about the same amount of time. My first real memory of being insulted and teased about it was when I was in Year 4/5. We were in P.E. and a girl came up to me and said: "What's wrong with you? Your chest is all bumpy and ugly." Needless to say, I was hurt. I hadn't cried that much in years and little did I know....that was only the start. I was constantly picked on - I was the victim of cruel nicknames and poking and prodding. But when I started puberty, things only got worse. Girls start to wear proper bras around 10/11 or sometimes 12. But I was 14 and unable to find a bra that fitted my chest. I have quite an unusual case of Pectus Carinatum. It's very rare and it's when the sternum hasn't been pushed out but flipped on it's side so one side of my chest stuck out over an inch and the other dipped in about a centimetre. It didn't help that I was 14 and wasn't very "womanly", shall we say. Probably smaller than an A-Cup. I hated it. I had pretty much a flat chest (breast-wise) and an uneven chest that stuck out an inch on the right (pectus-wise). I hadn't been swimming in about 3 years and I never wore low cut tops for fear of being picked on and questioned about my appearance. Talking to boys was another issue. I fancied my best friend for 11 months and never had the courage to make a move because I thought he wouldn't accept me for me. So instead, I watched him have girlfriends, express how much he loved her and kiss her and look at her so longingly. I just couldn't take it anymore. So...I went to the bathroom one night when I was home alone and took out the paracetamol tablets. I sat on my bed looking at them; wondering how something so small carries the difference between me living and me dead. I am so glad my mum came home then. I was about to pick them up, put them in my mouth and drift away silently when my mum came through the front door. I quickly dropped the pills and shoved them underneath a tissue in my bin. I went and I spoke to her about my chest. I never told her how close I was to death but I told her I hated myself. So we went to my GP and they referred me to my local hospital who referred me to a hospital in London. My consultation lasted 10 minutes and the clearly explained after examining me what my condition was and how they could fix it. Being on the NHS, my operation has been postponed twice. But I am willing to wait. Just as long as I get my chest fixed. I'm still 14. And it's May 2012. Hopefully, within a few weeks, my chest will be even. And I'll finally be happy.
AstridThorne AstridThorne
13-15
1 Response May 7, 2012

if you want to brace instead of surgery we will be bracing kids this june at the manor hospital in oxford uk. Call or email anytime for more information.<br />
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We also have the only female pectus brace available with our unique comfortable design just for girls. It comes in pink too!