Pectus Carinatum Has Made My Life Depressing

Hi my name is zaid and I'm 15. I have a moderate case of PC. It literally has made my life soo depressing, on top of the pc, I'm unbelievably skinny, and pretty ugly. I've never had a girlfreinds and I probably will never have one. My parents could care less about it, as much as I try to tell em they just say, why u getting so worked up about it all of a sudden? It kills to know that my parents don't even care. I've never told anyone else and I hope no one ever finds out. Sometimes I get so depressed I have very suicidal thoughths, sometimes I just sit on my bed and just stare at the wall and break out and cry. I'm very very self concious, I can even ask a girl out in fear that I'll get rejected cuz of pc. Soon enough I strted smoking weed and eating mushrooms and taking other drugs, it helped me forget about it, but the next morning, I would wake up and hate myself even more. I hate to take my shirt off even when I'm alone, or about to take a shower. I'm utterly disgusted at myself. I don't have too many freinds, and I get picked on. God I hate myself. I ask myself, why the he'll did I come into existence? To live with his bullshit forever? I even have ****** up teeth and my parents don't do ****. People are lucky that atleast they have their parents to count on to support them. I looked up that chest brace and I found a clinic in my area and the health insurance takes care of everything, we just got to make an appointment. I told my mom to and she doesn't give a ****! Just one fucken call that all! Sometimes I just dream about waking up and it's gone. I would think about how my life would be alot better, I would think about a perfect life, I vision so many things. But when I realize it's not gonna happen I just break down and just want to die. It's nice to know others go through what I have toand that Im not alone. Hopefully it'll go away some day..
Zaid4ever Zaid4ever
13-15, M
8 Responses Mar 16, 2010

hey guys thanks for all the support! i haven't been on this site since i was like 15. but damn, so much has changed! i'm all good now, I seriously could not have asked for a better life. I take back everything i said about my parents, i was a stupid young child. i still haven't had surgery, and i still haven't gotten a chest brace, but i COULD'NT CARE LESS! i feel great! i've been working out. I've been doing good in school, I've been just expanding. i found that PC was more of a mental block. The only reason i felt so crappy, was because i LET it make me feel crappy. I don't know what it was, but i realized i'm a leader, and that i have my own views and stand by them. That's a huge confidence boost. I'm literally the most confident person i know now. I believe PC broke me down, and it's brought me up. THANKS to PC i am the person i am today. they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

I'm 24 but developed it at a similar age to yourself. The gym is a good way of improving self confidence with your body and creating a good feeling within yourself but it hasn't in my case covered it up. I, like most people with PC have suffered from the lack of confidence in certain situations, swimming etc. from my experience it's the company you keep that can make you feel the way you do and the older you get the less things tend to get at you. Your at the age where social standing means alot to you and people with abnormalities get attention in the wrong way unfortunately. What I would say is the drugs will only make you hate yourself more, I've done plenty in my time but when i did it was for the good times not to help me escape from something because when you come down from them it will seem a million times worse. I've considered surgery countless times, the most common for PC is the modified ravitch but that leaves a nice scar so maybe it's abit like being stuck between a rock and hard place... The way I try and look at it when it's getting me down is at least it's not leg or arm missing. Your eyesight? There are so many people worse off and as for the girls you've just got to eleven in yourself mate, people will ask questions about it but no one perfect remember :) chin up

im 15 and my friends thinks its a third nipple -.- i started going to YMCA bench presses kinda help it blend in with my mussel building up I'm a guy but

I feel ya bro ever since I've started to worry about it my life has been changed I hate to have my shirt off and when people notice it I have to make some weird excuse or something. It shouldn't ruin your life though. Wear baggy clothes, drinking muscle milk and going to the gym a few times a week does a world of difference, I have just found that it shouldn't consume tour life you can Still get girls too.

Did you say that your insurance would pay for the bracing? Can you tell me who your carrier is? We're with Aetna and they won't pay for a $2300 brace but they'll pay for a $60,000 operation, apparently. Too crazy!

Pectus Carinatum is slowly making me insane! I need to get rid of it has to be done.

I also have pc and ****** up teeth. And phimosis. I'm 15 too. It's not much fun.

you just need to brace it -