27 Year Old Gay Male With Pe, Considering Surgery Need To Talk To Others.
I had never searched for any groups for this before today, but here I am still up at 4am after an encounter that made me feel pretty crummy today about my body on one of the few days I decide to go out in a fitted t-shirt, at the gas staion down from my house two girls who are slightly younger than myself couldn't help but notice and ask, in front of everyone in line, making others curious and me turn real red. I have never met another person with this condition face to face I have only seen pictures in medical journals or before and after photos of corrective surgery patients, in fact I am actually so shy about this condition the last time my shirt was taken off in public was 1988, (and we lived on a lake then, I was the only guy who always had a shirt on even on waverunners) when I was 5 the kids poked fun at me then and the humiliation stays with me to this day. As I mentioned in the title I am gay, throwing that into the works presents a whole new set of problems as most gay men are very picky about physical looks and I feel fine in that setting until after meeting somone the next week or two a whole new set of people come and ask me whats with your chest, so and so told us about it. Strangely I have never had a complaint or rejection about it every guy has just been curious, I get the same questions over and over, does it hurt, what side is your heart on and the number 1 question, why didn't you have it fixed? Luckly for me the condition is only cosmetic, my heart really goes out to anyone who had physical limitations as a result of this condition. I feel very uneasy with normally bodied males, almost like a freak the gay thing does not help when you see every other guy besides yourself with a correct body, you start to get jealous and feel bad about yourself. My body is in great shape, but this problem with the chest bones is affecting my self image more than ever. My option for surgery when I was younger was put on hold because I did not want scars or to be in the hospital, but now later in life i really want to be able to feel normal and have the body to only wear 1 shirt at a time in july, as the normal getup for summer is skin tight undershirt (hides the hole) and slightly baggy polo or t shirt pref with writing on the chest (completes the illusion of flat chest). I'm just looking for advice on the surgery, pros vs cons, what happened afterwards, pain, how anyone felt, did you have to work out to fill in what the surgery couldn't do 100% of, how your life changed those type of things I have read some stories on here but i'm really looking for the small details from others before I commit to something this invasive done to myself. Any advice greatly appreciated.