Right Down To The Last Detail

It was March 2001 and I was in the public service industry when someone"came out of the closet" to me. I mentioned it to a co-worker and like a flash fire, it made its way to the very top of my food chain. This guy was a political who's who and took aim at me. I was forced to resign my position.

In the following weeks, I entered my first, deepest and darkest depressions. I couldn't sleep, could not eat and could not give a crap if I lived or died. At that time, I preferred death so I planned it all out.

I was to fill the gas tank of my boat and take it out as far as 48 gallons of gas could get me into the Gulf of Mexico. I was to then wrap several loops of chains around my ankles, attach it to cynder blocks and throw myself overboard. While sinking to the bottom of the Gulf, I would shoot myself in the head thereby avoiding any pain associated with drowning.

In a few short weeks, sea life would consume me and the boat would drift far, far away.

There were two songs that made me hang on. The first was Travis Tritt's, "It's a Great Day to be Alive," and the second was Shania Twain's, "Up."

Please give yourself ten more minutes and listen to these songs. Life really does get better with each passing day.
ticklishsoles ticklishsoles
61-65, M
3 Responses May 7, 2012

So glad you didn't! I don't know you but by your stories, you seem so creative, intelligent & sexy. Just want to say glad you're still here :)

Oh, I'll be around a long time.

<3 long enough to do some tickle play with me! It must happen ;)

So glad your past this dark part of your life. good for you.

Yep. Way past this. Thanks.

It's OK to comment on this, I am way past this dark time in my life.