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I Have Pmdd

5 Days Til Period Expected

By: k8Krisis
Written on July 5th, 2011
Today it has hit me full force ...that time of the month to become completely massively negative, mean, unhappy, upset, mad, pissed off, exhausted, tired and just plain MISERABLE woman right now.....I only want to go to bed, unplug the phone, and escape from the world. I just hate feeling so hormonal, so ou tof control anxious, yet exhausted and yet so wired and restless too. Its everything all at once and nothing at all...I feel like I cannot deal with this stress another month, again, but what choice do i have? Thank god i have this place to post. I will hang in there.
I am just down today...waiting for my period to hopefully bring some relief to me, to my misery.  I hate complaining and being so negative, I hate and judge myself for being unable to control my emotions during this time...but why do I hate myself, when I did not ask for this? It is not RATIONAL behavior, and it sucks. Its like the hormones exaggerate every single fault in my mind, to a huge degree, and I feel powerless to change my outlook.

By: k8Krisis
Age: 41-45
476 people have read this story

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8 responses
  • lovelygirl2xweek
    lovelygirl2xweek

    My Prince Charming saved me. He has a mathematical mind and immediately figured out that I would get out of character anger 14 days before and 7 days before my cycle. He researched on the internet to smooth our marriage after years of trying emotional resilience-this guy was heaven sent! What he found was what ultimately helped me: herbal remedy Chasteberry or in latin "Agnus Castus" commercialized in the U.S. as Vitex. Hubby refused prozac because of the side effects. He refused Yaz because it does not work for everyone and he wants maybe one more child. I am apparently a perfect Mom with our 2 young kids and impossible to just him...the one I love beyond measure. I want to tell everyone because my life was about to become really difficult before this. See my story and how grateful I am to my husband who figured me out.

    Jul 28, 2011
    1 like
  • SJR2
    SJR2

    It is crazy how much we all relate. Keep your head up, and keep on keeping on.

    Jul 13, 2011
    1 like
    • k8Krisis
      k8Krisis

      You too, ok? I think when it gets super tough, it builds our character in some small way. I hope, anyway, dont you? Wouldn't it be nice if there was some small positive to come from all the suffering that PMDD brings to us :(

      Jul 13, 2011
      1 like
    • SJR2
      SJR2

      I think being out of control of our emotions makes us more in control of them, in a way. It sounds crazy. But we know what's coming. We know we're going to be irrational, moody, and exhausted. And we deal. We're stronger because of it. We can better predict ourselves than most, and we know how to handle it. Stay strong. I'll do the same.

      Jul 13, 2011
      1 like
    • k8Krisis
      k8Krisis

      I never thought of it that way. I like your thinking, it is positive. I will try to see my out of control emotions as a normal , natural part of womanhood, and I will be better and stronger for it. I do think acceptance is important, and I don't practice it enough..instead I get angry about how my life sucks and I have no energy to do anything to make myself feel better, like go out, call a friend. Just want to withdraw- DO NOT BOTHER ME!!! I feel like an angry ***** walking around, thinking awful things about people, I am so easily irritated by people, by noise, by voices raised, I feel like an anti-social personality,a neurotic weirdo lady!

      Aug 14, 2011
      1 like
  • tamm4
    tamm4

    I feel for you, I have exactly the same symptoms as you have described. Some days are a nightmare. I become a completely different person! It is hard for other people to understand just how severe it is. The depression, anxiety, anger, paranoia, exhaustion and guilt. It does indeed suck.

    Jul 11, 2011
    1 like
    • k8Krisis
      k8Krisis

      Thanks for that. A different person...you too? I am 2 people, one is sane, the other insane, and they take turns living in this body and mind. I really like one person, and I really hate the other. Who could be happy living like this?

      Jul 13, 2011
      1 like
    • gleamade
      gleamade

      I can totally relate to that as well. I am 2 people and it feels like they take turns...I never get to choose when I want the nice one to come out, no matter how much I wish I could stop being angry and lashing out at the people I love.

      Jul 17, 2011
      1 like