PMDD... Huh? What's That?
I have come to the long awaited conclusion that I have PMDD. When I tell people (even healthcare professionals) this, they usually ask me what it is. I reply that is it basically suicidal PMS because that has been my experience with it. Every month I get severly depressed. I stop doing stuff I need to do or even enjoy doing because I cry all the damn time for like 4 days. I hate it! This has been increasing in severity for the last 2 and a half years. Now I am at the point where I have thoughts of suicide or of just generally not wanting to be alive any more. This is not mentally healthy for a 22 year old with a bright future ahead of her. *sigh* I have been in two mental hospitals. The first was out patient and the second was 10 days inpatient. No offence to the other people there but I have seen what "crazy" looks like up close and I am far from it. If any one else experienced the same jarring mood swings in the extreme that I do, they would be just as frazzled. I have never tried to hurt myself as of yet but somedays I feel that it is only a matter of time. I give God all the glory for keeping me strong as I have been living with this. It has only been recently that I have started pressing PMDD as the cause of my problems. I am on anti depressants and those do fine all month long before I get my period but then as soon as I get it, I am at the bottom in deep deep depression. That's when I cry and cry and think of any way out. I don't know how this will help anyone except maybe to know that you are not alone and maybe it could be worse, or get worse if left untreated. I have found a doctor about 2 hours from where I live that has treated PMDD successfully. My appt is the 28th of July and I am hopeful to give increasingly possitive feedback on here after that.