Just Diagnosed, Afraid To Lose My Family

I just went to the Dr today or help. I have suspected for a while that I have pmdd, because regular pms can't be THIS bad. I spent two weeks a month feeling like a monster. Most of the time, I don't even recognize myself or want to know me. I am really scared sometimes of the things I say. I am married and have been with my husband now for 10 years all together. We have a beautiful little girl and I am afraid of what I'm doing not only to my marriage, but to my daughter. I don't want her to see me like this. I say things I don't mean, and it's like I'm inside my head watching it happen with no control over what I am saying. For about two weeks I feel lost, alone, ridiculed, ugly, fat, uncomfortable and mean. Unlike some comments I've been reading, I want to be alone, but I also don't. I need to be around my husband, but I find myself picking fights. I went on Seasonale (a 3 month pack of pills, no stoppage) about a year ago hoping for relief. Unfortunately, it did not help. Today, my Dr. switched me to a monthly pill and a low dose of antidepressant. The hope is that if I take it for the 14 day period of Mrs. Hyde, I will be better equipped to control my emotions. God, I hope so. I'm not sure how much more my husband can take. In fact, I'm not sure if he is willing to hold out any longer at all. I wish someone had some advice for HIM. I LOVE him and my daughter more than anything in the world and I can't bear the thought of losing them. I am so terrified that is going to happen. Please tell me or him that it is possible to get better.
jaither jaither
31-35
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

First step is done. You know about you illness and now your getting help. You will be fine!! Proud of you