Moth to a FlameHi there,
I'm 18 years old, started my periods when I was 11. I suffered quietly for 5 years believing what I was going through all to be "normal".
When I bet my boyfriend, my hero, at 15 he gave me confidence to go see a doctor.
For the past 2/3 years I have seen so many different types of doctors, dignosed with many different mental illnesses, and tried several different things to help me.
Reading all yours posts, I surley can relate to pretty much all of them. I too would have checked myself into a mental home, I too have tried to take my life on more than one occasion, I have suffered the horrible rage, feeling so terribly weak, confused, lost and alone. I may not have suffered as long as some of you but its been long enough, I admire the elder of the people of this forum to have survived the fight from teenager to middle age. I don't think I would be able to cope that long.
Currently I am on 60mg of Fluxoctine a day....That's alot for someone as young as me.
I don't want to be taking meds all my life, I have tried lowering the dose but the pain is just too unbearable.
PMDD has already messed up my life enough - Family life is not brillant, I am not able to go to Uni, now starting work fulltime I am finding things once again a real struggle. The meds have helped me alot but I am scared now with all this extra pressure of my boyfriend - who has indeed been my rock throughout this - moving away to go to uni and myself now working; that I am just going to go back to how I was before.
It's already started.....the thoughts of suicide, the self-harm, the endless tears, the tiredness - so so tired, the confusion, anxiety, lack of any self confidence, some times I can just sit doing nothing, just staring, thinking, for hours on end.
As fellow suffers I have made this post to ask you for advice, I am thinking of a hysterectomy. I don't want to live my life with 2 weeks of every month ruined, living like a mental patients, its demoralising.....Working it out presuming my cycles last for another 30 or so years that's about 600 weeks of my life wasted, due to this indescrible condition.
Sometimes I wonder what have we done to deserve this - only 3-5% of women suffer from PMDD - why did we have to be the 3%?
As I was saying I was wondering if having a hysterectomy is the right thing to do.
Obviously there's no going back.
I shall never be able to have children of my own....not that I want any now - but who knows in the future the option would be nice.
However, the option of living with PMDD for life is not so nice.
** Kezu x