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PMDD Vs. Relationships

I was diagonsed with PMDD a year ago by my doctor & was put on birth control. While the pill works for all the physical symptoms & most of my emotional symptoms, a week before my period without fail I get these feelings of detachment, depression, and apathy.

My boyfriend is a very sweet guy and he knows about my PMDD, but its still difficult to explain to him that while I do love him, for one week it feels as if I don't. I don't want to be around him, or talk to him, much less be affectionate.

Is PMDD putting a strain on anyone else's relationship? If so, how are you dealing? Thanks :)

chasingstars chasingstars 18-21 38 Responses Jan 28, 2009

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Can someone PLEASE tell me if what I'm experiencing sounds like PMDD? I'm losing all hope, here's my story.

I've been too scared to google my symptoms out of fear that someone would tell me I need to end my relationship, until I found out about PMDD.

I'm from the UK and from the 1st to the 10th of August i was on holiday and also on the contraceptive pill to change the time of my period, during this time I noticed that I didn't want anything to do with sex, and I kept feeling like I didn't love my boyfriend, even though NOTHING in our relationship had changed, at that time we'd been together for about 2 years and 7 months and we love eachother a lot. I figured it was the pill throwing my hormones off and everything would be okay when we returned home.

Sure enough back at home the first couple of days were weird, but soon enough everything returned to normal and I started to make plans for going to uni/our future of moving in together, I couldn't have been happier. That was until the 11th of September when I was either on or just about to start my period. This was the day I decided to confess to my boyfriend that for the past couple of days I've been having very strange feelings almost as though I didn't love him, that night I basically had a panic attack because the man I've loved for almost three years I felt I didn't love any more and that I could not think of a better person in the world for me. He was incredibly understanding and said we would work together and get through it. That following week I was incredibly anxious/nervous/feeling sick, I couldn't eat for a week because I was so scared of what my feelings meant. I finally met with my boyfriend and felt slightly better, I noticed sometimes I would feel absolutely fine and other times I wouldn't. The only thing that has stopped me from taking any drastic action is the fact that I KNOW deep down that I do love him because sometimes I feel fine and completely in love. Fast forward three weeks and I'm still getting these feelings, although on a much lower scale, I feel like I need to mention that this is my first month off the pill and I'm about to have my second period off the pill (I decided to ditch it). When I get in my "moods" all I want to do is cry, I will get slightly annoyed when my boyfriend tries to act playful with me to try and cheer me up. When I think of our future together, something I'm usually SO excited about, all I think of is negativity and that it will never ever happen. Overall I'm having a horrible time, I know deep down I love my boyfriend and I just want these stupid feelings to stop.
Does this sound like PMDD? please help.

Not sure if this is what my daughter has, but she has all the symptoms of it. Trouble is she won't get the help she needs. It has ruined all her relationships and the guy she is with now is at the end of his patients with her. She drinks alcohol to try to cope but it turns her into a monster. I am at my wits end. I have had to pick up the pieces for years now and I want to help but I can't. She has moved to Australia and so I am not there to help. I get these really late night calls with her yelling and screaming obscenities at her partner. He doesn't know what to do. This is so hard.

I just recently got in a relationship after being single for two years..I'm only 23 years old and I've been a sufferer from pmdd since I was 16. It's seriously one of the worst feelings ever! The depression, the hopelessness, I don't want to be around my boyfriend, I don't want to be around my boyfriends friends..I tried to explain to him and he just doesn't get it..after my failed relationships in the past I knew it was the pmdd that caused the problems! I don't feel like I deserve to be with anyone..why put anyone through this..my boyfriend sure doesn't deserve this :(

Pmdd has destroyed my marriage and anything that mywife and I shared.

So lomg as I was aware of the changes and key indicators our relationship was really good.

But after we had a baby and her hormones began to level back to a normal cycle I was unable to keep up with the changes.
Compounded by a series of traumatic events and PND my wife demonized me to cope and her PMDD symptoms seemed to be a constant battle for her the relationship broke down.
She was unable to separate her PMDD symptoms from real life and push me and our child away.

The use of implanon seemed the best result for treatment og her PMDD as did SSRI treatment. But it was to hard to get her to accept the need for medication.

We are now in a battle over our child. I am the devil that stole her child and she is the battered wife.

I tried so hard to help her. But now there is nothing I can do. I have already lost my home and anything of material worth. Now I am set to loose my son as well

This is worst case gone so wrong. PMDD is real.

I just went to the Dr today or help. I have suspected for a while that I have pmdd, because regular pms can't be THIS bad. I spent two weeks a month feeling like a monster. Most of the time, I don't even recognize myself or want to know me. I am really scared sometimes of the things I say. I am married and have been with my husband now for 10 years all together. We have a beautiful little girl and I am afraid of what I'm doing not only to my marriage, but to my daughter. I don't want her to see me like this. I say things I don't mean, and it's like I'm inside my head watching it happen with no control over what I am saying. For about two weeks I feel lost, alone, ridiculed, ugly, fat, uncomfortable and mean. Unlike some comments I've been reading, I want to be alone, but I also don't. I need to be around my husband, but I find myself picking fights. I went on Seasonale (a 3 month pack of pills, no stoppage) about a year ago hoping for relief. Unfortunately, it did not help. Today, my Dr. switched me to a monthly pill and a low dose of antidepressant. The hope is that if I take it for the 14 day period of Mrs. Hyde, I will be better equipped to control my emotions. God, I hope so. I'm not sure how much more my husband can take. In fact, I'm not sure if he is willing to hold out any longer at all. I wish someone had some advice for HIM. I LOVE him and my daughter more than anything in the world and I can't bear the thought of losing them. I am so terrified that is going to happen. Please tell me or him that it is possible to get better.

Due to the risk of being labeled as spam, I won't post the link here, but I have a blog called Living on a Prayer, Living With PMDD that addresses the topic of having a relationship with a PMDD woman. Perhaps you can find some helpful information in my posts. Thank you and I wish you all the best in your relationships.

I have been in two relationships this year, and I have PMDD.<br />
My first relationship earlier this year originally broke off after a month, after my PMDD phase. This ex boyfriend was the first guy I would have to explain it to and he seemed understanding, and we decided to give it another go. (Later I found out he was telling people I am mentally ill and need to be in a hospital, but that's a different story.) The relationship ended due to him cheating, because he didn't want to feel like it was PMDD'S fault for leaving me (which ultimately, it was.) The night he left me, my new high strength vitamins arrived. They have a very high magnesium and iron content which for me work like a charm. (only downside is, you get leg cramp after prolonged use) I also drew myself a diet plan, with mostly carbs and no caffeine, little sugar. <br />
The next day I met my boyfriend and I believe it was love at first sight. He is very understanding, asks me how I'm feeling often (which I like) and even though for a week of the month I feel like he hates me for it, deep down I know he doesn't. <br />
My advice ladies is, keep holding out for the right guy and he will hold out for you. Buy some iron/magnesium tablets and draw up a diet. Good luck, we can do this girls! X

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a few times I noticed around her period she gets like different, as if it's not her and it scares me cuz we have broken up 2 times and I never knew what was wrong or what I did. So it happened again a few days ago and I decided not to talk to her this time and I just looked it up and found out about PMDD. I never knew about this and everything that everyone has been talking about she has done. Like, She doesn't want to talk to me, be around me and she said she feels as if she doesn't love me and it's like one minute she does. Then the next she doesn't and I try to stay calm and patient but it was hard cuz I never knew she had this. But I still want to know how I can help here and be there for her because I love her and care for her and I also know and have known that was never her because she isn't like that ever. I know she loves me but now that I know this i understand because it all makes sense and clicks. But I just would like to know some tips if anyone could help because I care so much for her

Hi im new to this im trying to figure out if I have pmdd I already suffer from bipolar depression And severe anxiety but ive been with my bf for a few months n everything has been amazing n all the sudden im annoyed by him he makes me mad by little things I don't want tp be affection And I have completly lost my sex drive n its not that he is not attractive cuz he is I dont want anyone else one minute I love him n the next I cant stand him latley ive very much wanted to just be alone but I cant cuz we live together im not sleepimg well my anxiety is very high this has all happened on the past week or 2 and my period is coming soon idk if I have pmdd can seome help me

I was diagnosed with PMDD two years ago. I finally had to accept that my PMDD and his manic depression weren't going to work well together. In the future, I know that a relationship will only work out if I can be alone for those few days a month. I'm not really one for substance abuse, but during that time I take Lorazepam (prescribed by my dr.) or smoke marijuana to keep me mellow. I have tried a few supplements like St Johns Wort, Chaste Tree Berry, 5 http, etc but while vitamins are a generally a good idea, none seem to have lessened my symptoms. Some even stopped my period altogether, making my moods more erratic and harder to predict. I tried birth control, a very bad idea. When I found my new doctor he took me off of it immediately. Symptoms were 24/7! One natural supplement I have found to work is called Serotonin Dopamine Liquescence. It is sold online or at natural food stores. It is basically serotonin replacement, derived from very happy cows in New Zealand. PMDD is caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain, we aren't able to replace it so a little problem quickly spirals downward and ruins relationships, sometimes even lives. Replacing the serotonin will help with bad moods rather fast, its a tincture you place under the tongue. There aren't any weird feelings or ill side effects, just feeling as good as though you just won the lottery. <br />
<br />
Overall, to manage PMDD I suggest a game plan beforehand. It would be nice if all us women had the perfect vacation home to retreat to but this isn't practical. <br />
1- Track your cycle! - Know when your period is coming. You will start to notice that little things are irritating you, you are crying at things you wouldn't normally cry at and you find yourself saying more curse words than usual. These are the warning signs. Time to retreat<br />
<br />
2- Remove yourself - If you or your partner can't leave for a few days (I mean seriously, what's a few nights at a hotel a month compared to relationship damaging arguments??) then set up your space at home. Declare your designated space, preferably in a room with a door that closes which no one needs to walk through. Make sure your partner has everything they need out of that room and is set up to sleep on the couch. <br />
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3- Ride the Wave - Here comes the emotions! Have an abundance of films, music, chocolate and food delivery available. Alcohol and caffeine are discouraged, they are mood enhancers you don't need. You might still be a wreck and are crying over Little Women for the seventh time, but your relationship will be in tact. <br />
<br />
Three easy steps to ensuring a peaceful household during PMDD time. <br />
<br />
My advice for the guys: She doesn't mean what she says and you have to remain calm, gentle and patient until the storm blows over. She still needs love and intimacy but doesn't know how to ask for it or attract it at this time.

God someone please reply to this. I have been with my girlfiend for 2 years through my worst years, broke in college. Im now finished as of yesterday and am 23 and she is turning 21 we've been through a lot and I know that she has pmdd. I love her more than anything and have tried my hardest to understand her feelings at times but felt as I've read many guys say, it seemed like an excuse. She has been my everything and I haven't cared about that she gets crazy for a week per month, some worse than others. I want and will stand by her side and be there through the bad and good. She recently, even after in the past few days had told her friend and me about how much she loved me and us looking at getting married in the next year. I had a recent impatient go with dealing with her time of the month and we fought, which was soon made up. However, telling me she loved me an hour prior to this next argument, she decides that she hasn't felt the same about me as she used to and it's gone for months and theres nothing I can do about it, and that she isn't going to change her mind. Nothing I say has her budging and she is gonna take some space and call me in a few days, while adding at the end its still not gonna change her mind. A few days prior to this disaster she gave me the normal warning that she can feel her period coming and that she is pissed and irritable. This happened twice before with the first morning after she called and apologized wanting to fix it and the second took a couple of days and she said she wanted to work on it again. Now I'm just hoping it is the same and all I know is I want to be with her and I love her more than anything in the world. I wanna get better at handling and helpIng her through her bad times. She knows that her problems arent natural as her pains, physical and mental, are much worse than normal periods. I don't think she knows anything about Pmdd but that her situation isn't normal. Im just hoping that this is the situation and that I've come to the right place, if not I guess she really "doesn't really love me as much anymore as she used to" when she told me an hour prior that she loved me.

How come I had to go through pages and pages on the Internet to find out about PMDD! I thought I was going crazy thinking how can I love my boyfriend do much one week and can't be able to look at him another? How can he feel like The one ,one day and 2 weeks later, a week b4 my period want to break up with him, only to want him back the day my period came! also depression, tiredness, want to cry, hopelessness... Think you do much for these posts, it helps knowing that our relationship has a chance! Bless him I've tried so hard to explain to him how I feel and he tries so hard to understand! It's not fair on him :((( !! I'll go to see my gp ASAP! So here's to hoping! Good luck everyone and thank you again!!! Xxx

hi it makes me feel better to see im not the only one... pmdd is a horrible problem.. about 2 weeks before i start getting depressed, hopeless, i feel like i dont love my boyfriend anymore.. i dont wanna go out or do anything.. i feel suicidal some months.. but i just cant seem to find a cure? i hate having doubts about my boyfriend because he is honestly a GEM and is so sweet and loving, and i end up feeling so guilty that i feel this way about him, which makes me even worse. i dont know what else to do? does anyone have any suggestions? at least we can all support eachother during this horrid time.

I am an Army officer deployed to Afghanistan. My (ex?)fiancee is deployed to Kosovo. We planned and organized our deployments so we would leave and return about the same time. We keep our plans between us and our closet friends. She hasn’t told anyone at work, because we know a lot of the same people and we don’t want to affect her Army reputation, which as a female, is very precarious (you’re either a ***** or a tramp).<br />
<br />
After this assignment I was to be married and go to Brussels to NATO HQ and she would go to grad school there. As recently as 2 weeks ago we worked on her application together. But that’s over–for now.<br />
It all started New Year’s Eve. I tried to play in a 3 on 3 tournament but I blew my ankle out in the warmups. I went to call my FiancŽe, she said she’d need “crew rest” (pilot) and wouldn’t be able to speak at midnight. I was fine with that. In the morning, she had left me happy emails in the middle of the night AFTER midnight her time (she is 3:30 behind me). When we spoke I asked her what happened to the crew rest. She exploded and wanted a ‘break’. I complied with NO contact until she finally wrote me. Five days later I get the longer explanation: that we weren’t going to work, that she needed space to think on her own, that being in a relationship was wrong for her, etc. I let go for a while, but then I started putting two and two together with medical symptoms she had explained to me earlier (her period is lasting 2-3 weeks each month, panic attacks, depression, argumentative, bitter feeling.) I believe she definitely has a mood disorder and/or a hormone imbalance.<br />
<br />
On 29 Dec she was asking me my ring size, which hand I would wear a “commitment ring” and talking about our planned trip to Brussels in Feb. On 10 Jan she canceled our trip (with a veiled lie about leave being canceled) and told me to go alone, said she needs time to think and doesn’t want to talk to me. I told her I would wait and see if she could get leave another time and if she could that I would re-arrange my leave dates. She said to go on by myself. I called and we spoke for a long time and finally agreed to respect her request for a “break.” Then I foolishly, sent her a link to a website that showed the medical condition she is experiencing (PMDD) and, of course, that set her off. (She also knows that I told her friend what I believe as well, and THAT set her off even more.) She told me: “ENOUGH! JUST leave me alone!” I believe I should give her 30 days cooling off, and try to make gentle contact just to ask how she’s doing. Any other or better advice? She didn’t say (I never want to speak to you again, it’s over. On the contrary, she said she loved me a few days before, but that it just won’t work.<br />
<br />
I’m going to Australia for a week and then to the states for another week and that will be my leave now. I won’t push her on leave dates anymore and I won’t speak to her friends. I’m going for 30 days no contact starting today Friday 13th! I may see her family to get some of my stuff at their place…or should I just leave it all there and discuss it after the deployment? What should I do. I love her. If she fixes the hormones, there is nothing here that isn’t fixable. How do I start? She won't talk to me and the break talk started almost 2 weeks ago now.

I am an Army officer deployed to Afghanistan. My (ex?)fiancee is deployed to Kosovo. We planned and organized our deployments so we would leave and return about the same time. We keep our plans between us and our closet friends. She hasn’t told anyone at work, because we know a lot of the same people and we don’t want to affect her Army reputation, which as a female, is very precarious (you’re either a ***** or a tramp).<br />
<br />
After this assignment I was to be married and go to Brussels to NATO HQ and she would go to grad school there. As recently as 2 weeks ago we worked on her application together. But that’s over–for now.<br />
It all started New Year’s Eve. I tried to play in a 3 on 3 tournament but I blew my ankle out in the warmups. I went to call my FiancŽe, she said she’d need “crew rest” (pilot) and wouldn’t be able to speak at midnight. I was fine with that. In the morning, she had left me happy emails in the middle of the night AFTER midnight her time (she is 3:30 behind me). When we spoke I asked her what happened to the crew rest. She exploded and wanted a ‘break’. I complied with NO contact until she finally wrote me. Five days later I get the longer explanation: that we weren’t going to work, that she needed space to think on her own, that being in a relationship was wrong for her, etc. I let go for a while, but then I started putting two and two together with medical symptoms she had explained to me earlier (her period is lasting 2-3 weeks each month, panic attacks, depression, argumentative, bitter feeling.) I believe she definitely has a mood disorder and/or a hormone imbalance.<br />
<br />
On 29 Dec she was asking me my ring size, which hand I would wear a “commitment ring” and talking about our planned trip to Brussels in Feb. On 10 Jan she canceled our trip (with a veiled lie about leave being canceled) and told me to go alone, said she needs time to think and doesn’t want to talk to me. I told her I would wait and see if she could get leave another time and if she could that I would re-arrange my leave dates. She said to go on by myself. I called and we spoke for a long time and finally agreed to respect her request for a “break.” Then I foolishly, sent her a link to a website that showed the medical condition she is experiencing (PMDD) and, of course, that set her off. (She also knows that I told her friend what I believe as well, and THAT set her off even more.) She told me: “ENOUGH! JUST leave me alone!” I believe I should give her 30 days cooling off, and try to make gentle contact just to ask how she’s doing. Any other or better advice? She didn’t say (I never want to speak to you again, it’s over. On the contrary, she said she loved me a few days before, but that it just won’t work.<br />
<br />
I’m going to Australia for a week and then to the states for another week and that will be my leave now. I won’t push her on leave dates anymore and I won’t speak to her friends. I’m going for 30 days no contact starting today Friday 13th! I may see her family to get some of my stuff at their place…or should I just leave it all there and discuss it after the deployment? What should I do. I love her. If she fixes the hormones, there is nothing here that isn’t fixable. How do I start? She won't talk to me and the break talk started almost 2 weeks ago now.

My experience is a little different... I don't get angry or lash out violently and hurt my guys feelings, but I do become EXTREMELY concerned about us, convinced we aren't working out and question our future together. At the same time I am full of remorse over being so depressing and confusing to him. We've been dating for two years and EVERY month the week before my period, without fail, I get this way. Frighteningly, I've also had suicidal thoughts during these times- mostly out of an overwhelming fear of hurting him or ruining everything. Both my mother and grandmother have a history of something similar to this, so it looks like I am in it for the long haul (crap). I've found that keeping track of your moods and knowing when it's going to happen and being aware of it during the time is really helpful. Exercising helps also. And being open and honest with him. And learning some kind of breathing technique for during those panic attacks. Good luck everyone. We can do it.

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me two weeks ago because of the person that I've become in recent months. I'm absolutely broken.<br />
Yesterday, I was diagnosed with PMDD. I am starting yaz soon, but I'm afraid that it may be too late for my relationship. Although I know that I need to fix this for me, because I deserve to be happy, he is the love of my life. Its really hard to face this head on when half of my heart is out somewhere with him.<br />
I hope that one day I can get him back, but right now I need to focus on me. Does anyone have any advice for someone who not only is new to dealing with PMDD, but is also dealing with her heart breaking?

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me two weeks ago because of the person that I've become in recent months. I'm absolutely broken.<br />
Yesterday, I was diagnosed with PMDD. I am starting yaz soon, but I'm afraid that it may be too late for my relationship. Although I know that I need to fix this for me, because I deserve to be happy, he is the love of my life. Its really hard to face this head on when half of my heart is out somewhere with him.<br />
I hope that one day I can get him back, but right now I need to focus on me. Does anyone have any advice for someone who not only is new to dealing with PMDD, but is also dealing with her heart breaking?

my boyfriend and I are having so many problems because of my PMDD. i am on sertraline (100mg) but i still get very angry and suicidal right before my period. The medicine has helped a lot though. How can i try to explain this condition to my boyfriend better so that he can understand. Hes been very good about it, but recently we got into an argument and i said some horrible things to him. i just hope this isnt the last straw :(

There are no perfect people in this world, only perfect intentions. Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing. PMDD has had an affect on my relationship, but it was never something i couldn't cope with. On those weeks i made sure everything was in it's place. I tried to run a tight ship, but it got turned around as "i was a *****". I did it for her, as i knew it would bother her. I tried so very hard to make everything right, but it ended up being all wrong. All we ever want as partners is to be loved and this HORRABLE disease makes us feel completely worthless and unwanted. The relationship is now taken a turn for the worse and we are not together. I wish it were all a dream but unfortunately it is reality. It is something i must realize before i lose myself. I love her with all my heart and granted the decisions i have made were not always the best, but when i am with her she keeps me grounded. I'm sorry we could never work out the issues we had been up against, i wish we could of because things could have been wonderful. PMDD has ruined a lot for us, only because she has never seen the good i can do but all the bad i HAVE done.

I am a 34 year old totally and completely suffering through the physical and emotional symptoms brought on by my PMDD. I cannot even begin to count the endless number of times I have kicked my partner out over the duration of 12 years... She isn't perfect but she does make above and beyond efforts to make me happy. She makes sure I come home to a clean home, cooks for me, rubs my huge puffy feet (edema prior to the start of my period), and tells me how beautiful I am and how much she loves me... I get psycho. I am a *****. I say mean thin I wont kiss her before bed. I don't even want to be bothered with chatting about our days. <br />
<br />
I eat eat eat, am tired, overwheled, and canky. I yell and I cry. I try all the meds available with no real success as of yet. I feel like my PMDD has ruined her life.

wow I am so glad to read that I am not the only one. my boyfriend is amazing, seriously just an all-around perfect boyfriend, three weeks out of the month. the other week I become so insecure about our relationship and like many of you have said, only focus on the negative things about him and our relationship. I sometimes don't feel as if I am "really" in love with him and I often have a hard time believing he is in love with me or "really" wants to be with me. I worry he thinks I am unattractive. I am paranoid that he is just pretending to be in love with me, that he secretly wishes he were with exes or other women, that he is leading me on or manipulating me in some way. It is so frustrating to be so in love with him 75% of the time, but then have all of these doubts about him one week out of the month! I understand completely where you are coming from and wish you the best. thank you for sharing your story.

Ok, wow, here it goes... So my gf and I lived together in 2002 to 2003, we had a year long relationship and she woke up one day and said it was over, the reason was because of kids; she had one and I had three (I'm a dad with custody of three). I noticed a pattern early on in the relationship, and right around the 26th of each and EVERY month, she would become a mean, selfish, confrontational and completely irrational person (I'm trying to not use curse words). I was devastated by her leaving me, I have never been dumped and I have had many, many relationships. I carried my torch for her over the next several years, as there was always something about her that made her so much more special to me than any other Lady in my life. After my many more relationships and another messy divorce, I decided to call her and share with her my feelings about her. I hadn't spoken to her in over 7 years. I put myself out there and found the last serious relationship she had was with me. We agreed to date again, things were awesome at first but we met after the 26th when she was on her sweet side. The next month around the 26th, here we go again. I broke it off the following month on the 29th after she treated me worse than any woman I've ever known, she acted like she hated me, but couldn't tell me why. There was no way on God's green earth that I could explain to her that she still has PMDD and she needed professional help. Well four months passed by and she called me up an apologized for her behavior. She explained how she knew she was wrong and she admits to having hormone issues. She started on YAZ and it was actually going really well until she changed BC pills 3 months later. Her Birthday was on the 27th and she flipped out, she was mad because I bought her a doz roses and made her a cake... I still stuck it out but kept notes on a calendar of the days I needed to be EXTREMELY careful around her. I knew the mood changes start around the 22nd of each month and the 26th is toxic, the calendar supported my observations. This caused a major issue with us and I no longer could put myself out there for her to walk all over me, so I began to allow myself to be pushed farther and farther away. At the end of January, we both agreed to end this, I allowed her to blame me just as much. This break-up only lasted for 2 weeks before she called me again. I have never had an ex not want to get back with me, but this one I have always let back in. I am very reserved with her right now, but she finally explains that she knows she is "most" of the problem and she is going to correct it. She is going to the OB-Gyn on Feb 28th and she is looking at getting the IUD Mirena, her friends told her this will help. So wish me luck... I don't know what else I can do but sit and wait this one out. She is so incredible in so many ways, she really drives me wild when she is on her sweet side. I do know if this does not work, I don't really know what else I can do... I can vision sharing the rest of my life with her, but only if we can get this figured out first, sometimes faith is the only thing you have to hold on to...

Thank you, each one for these posts. I wanted to cry when I read them all, it was like all of you took the words right out of my mouth. I've been dating a wonderful man for about six months, and noticed that the two weeks leading up to my period are horrible. I feel l don't love him anymore, that I can't stand his phone calls, that any future we have together will be depressing and terrible, and that our relationship is forever over...then, van, my period starts, and literally, within hours, I'm in love with him, certain that he's the one, and this will go on for two weeks...then, back to the bad moods again. I try so hard to be logical with myself, and tell myself to "wait it out" but I almost can't force myself to see anything positive with my pms being this bad.

If anyone has found a presc<x>ription medication or natural remedy that minimizes or eliminates the PMDD, please share it. <br />
<br />
My finacee has all of the symptoms described above. We love each other very much and are determined to find a solution for her PMDD.<br />
<br />
Please help us with your posts.

Me and my new boyfriend split yesterday. I went to see a friend today and she asked what I wanted from a man, I said I wanted him; that he is perfect for me. In the last week I have done nothing but snipe at this perfect man, I have avoided making plans with him because I couldn't see me wanting to spend time with him, I have been a right cow to him.<br />
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The thing is, he and I have been friends for years and things should be fabulous, not about me behaving like a whirling dervish! I went to the loo this morning, realised my period had started and you know what? The relief was immense! It's just now that I have questioned my moodyness that I realise I have a problem. I'm exhausted for a solid week before my period, sleep terribly and suffer with night sweats and waking all the time, I eat EVERYTHING in my path despite the fact that I am normally very active and conscientious about my diet! I noticed last year that my abscence record at work seems to run in line with my cycle too!<br />
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Eurgh.... I can't beleive my moods come down to this and it frustrates me endlessly. I'm usually very capable but this just blows everything up in my unable to cope face.

I kicked my fiancee out of the house 4 days ago. I drank a full bottle of wine by myself last night, and I have but maybe one or two cocktails twice a month! I just wanted to feel something different! It was awful. I woke up today and reread the arguing texts. I truly was a monster. I apologized profusely, but I feel like I should leave him because he deserves more than this. I feel like I am torturing him every month! He knows it too. He says he loves me and wants to work this out. I am on Wellbutrin, but also took an Ativan today because nothing is really working. I am so scared about all of this and I can't function!

Wow. Thank god for this forum. My girlfriend packed a bag and left today. This is after a weeks worth of nearly every symptom mentioned above. We have been going through this kind of thing every month since we got together over a year ago and I honestly don't think she knows that she has PMDD.So every month she leaves me. Or storms out. Or doesn't talk to me for 8 days and then when she gets her period get so scared because she can't believe who she has been for the last week and turns back in to the woman I love the most. It was the phrase "sometimes they can seem like a completely different person" that really made me believe that she has PMDD. Does anyone have any advice about how I can broach the subject with my girlfriend? assuming she comes back of course.<br />
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I think sometimes the hardest thing is that if as the boyfriend you had done something wrong you could apologise and try to make things better. But what do you apologise for when you've done nothing? and the worst part about THAT is that NOONE believes that you might have done NOTHING to provoke a day long screaming argument. People always look at you like your naive or selfish for thinking you're completely blame free even if you've run her a bath made her dinner, poured her some wine and she's still acts like she hates you. Or even worse is when they think you can't tell the difference between PMS and something else. It is tough. But I suppose sometimes you have to man-up if you love someone.<br />
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But to the women in the group can I just say that it must be so much worse for you and I do feel for you. If I can offer one small bit of advice. Don't feel embarrassed about it. If it happens it happens. Just make sure to confirm for your boyfriend afterwards that it was PMDD. Because the thing that I struggle with the most is that I can never be fully sure of how my girlfriend feels about me. Maybe this time she really does mean what she says. That's the hardest part.

Holy cow! These posts are right on! I also have pmdd. To DMH1110 I cant tell you enough how much your gf does not mean what she says during that time....I am good for about 2 weeks a month and then off and on for the other 2 weeks. This is prob why it seems on and off. It definetly puts stress onto the greatest relationship of my life (my boyfriend). I have even thought of getting a hysterectomy or something because I feel so bad for him and I dont much like it either! All I can tell you is that there are some treatments out there for this condition and that she will stop going through this as menopause draws closer. This can take up to 10 years but like I said, there are treatments to ease the symptoms. Until then, IF this is what she has, love her MORE during this time even though it is hard it is what she needs.

I am beginning to think I have found a PMDD pattern in my girlfriend of over a year. We are both 40. After about a month of seeing each other she became very distant...began saying I was needy and she needed space, which erupted into an argument and I told her it was over. A day later we talked and made ammends and for the most part have a wonderful relationship. Except for the past few months: sex is much less freuquent, at times is very irritable, sleeps a lot, seem depressed at times, tells me she loves me but doesn't want me around etc. Well, it seems this happens about a week or so before her period, THEN AGAIN about a week or so after...2-5 days each time. Once her period hits she is again the person I fell in love with and is more her loving self.<br />
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During these bouts I have wanted to move out and get on with my life, as I don't need the abuse. How can someone be so damn selfish and inconsiderate for a few days and then be good again and act like everything is ok? Its frustrating me to no end. I love her and if indeed it is PMDD will do anything to help and get her well. It is definitely taking its toll on me and the relationship. Is there a good way to have her look into getting a diagnoses and if it is PMDD get treatment? She looks at me like I'm crazy for researching all this, but I feel like I'm living with 2 people. I even joke with her and tell her not to let her evil sister comeback. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.