The Brain's Funny Way ...

the brain is a mysterious thing, it is.  considering the technology developed in the last 100 yrs we still know very little about the brain.

i was in an accident in feb '04.  i developed a 'condition' due to the injury.  one of the side affects being memory loss.  now i didn't have amnesia, just to make that clear.  however, i forgot EVERYthing that happened in the current (of the time and now) and i forgot many details of my past leaving only vague, fuzzy and distant memories for me to decipher. 

of all the things i wanted to forget, the accident was on the top of the list.  but it was one of those i was unable to.  as a matter of fact, the accident itself played itself over and over in my head.  sounds, smells, images on TV, phrases, etc. would set it off.  i had recurring nightmares of the incident.  i often still do.  while i am getting better about the 'triggers' i still 'experience' it from time to time, mostly in my dreams/nightmares. 

i've come to learn it's one of those things i must bravely face or it will contine to relentlessly haunt me.  and i do my best with it each day.  it's not as 'crippling' as it once was and for that i'm thankful.  but it still has the ability to cause panic, anxiety, tears, frustration, physical pain, etc.

the brain is mysterious!  why does it continue to torment me?  is it not the nature of the human body to heal itself?  is this some odd way of healing or making peace with myself? or is it some sado massechistic ritual of a sick mind?  hehe

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
2 Responses Jun 29, 2007

I understand that more than I can put into words, Caska. Thank you for your comment - a 5 to you!

The brain's way of working things out sometimes makes me frustrated. It does what it needs to do to "protect" you when you are stressed- but those things arent really helpful in everyday life.. .and i find i spend more time trying to rearrange what my brain did to "protect" me than i even think about the other stuff.