Help... P.o.t.s And Trouble Coping

I'm an 18 year old girl who has suffering with P.O.T.S for my ENTIRE life. My P.O.T.S issue got so bad I had to start being home schooled in Grade 6 which later led to me dropping out in Grade 9. School was such a struggle for me, from the memory problems to being mentally burned out from doing a simple math problem, it simply wasn't a option to "continue" my education since I couldn't retain enough information to get close to passing a test. Id love more then anything to continue my education and go to University with my long term boyfriend but that is not going to happen for awhile.. I just hate how my P.O.T.S has made it completely out of reach.. It sucks not being able to do any activity's outside the house, whats tough is I have been dumped by all my friends, since I am not able to keep up with everything that they are doing and even my family and boyfriend seem to be giving up hope on me. its just simply to hard to be around me since I'm not well enough to keep up a conversation without being out of breath and all the other stuff that comes with pots... I cant help but be depressed everyday knowing that everything is so far out of my reach and there's no way to tell when my symptoms will subside, Weather its in 5 years 10 years or never. I want to start working and making my own money but I can barley make a 10 minute visit to the mall without feeling the dire need to find the nearest seat, so how could I keep a job where I actually have to not only stand but work, stand and use my brain at the same time. I just don't know what to do anymore I have tried everything.. I just wish I knew how to get my life back a little... or at least get out of this phunk..
potsprobs potsprobs
18-21, F
1 Response May 24, 2012

Hi pots probs<br />
I wanted to message you as I think you are so brave.Im just finding out what's wrong with me after a long time.Im having four days of tests next month including the the tilt table test.Im 37 a lot older than you but I know exactly how you feel I've been ill with hypermobility syndrome since I was in my twentys and I was so jealous of all my friends having careers,going out when iwas stuck at home feeling so tired and in pain.It used to eat me up inside I was never jealous of anyone before.I was lucky to have a boyfriend but when he went to work I wished that was me it just seems so cruel that we all have to suffer.Im like u when I go out I just look for the next seat.I have good days I went to France last month it was so hard but was grateful.<br />
I don't blame you for feeling depressed I have days when I want to give up but we deserve happiness.my brain is so foggy I don't know about you I can hardly concentrate,I suppose the blood isn't pumping right to our brains.<br />
Try and hang in there you are never alone we are all going through this together,you are doing so well,I'm from the uk, take care ,please message me any time Suzanne,suny4x<br />
Ll

Thanks for the reply Suzanne! Its really nice to not feel alone with this illness... Don't even get me started on the memory thing... its so overwhelming since no ones understands why I have such a hard time talking to people, it sucks having to ask the person your talking to what you were even talking about in the first place! this illness is so challenging......