Im trying so hard, but I can't control how my body feels and I don't have any money. I want so badly to be better and work again and fix my car but i don't have the means to do it. I can't seem to do anything anymore. I want clean clothes but I can't get up to wash them, I want to see my friends again but I can't get out of bed. I want to eat and take my medicine like I'm supposed to but I can't make the hunger pain go away. I want more than all of that just to see again! To wake up and not be dizzy, to walk without stumbling. I just want to be independent and take care of myself, and yet it seems like no one can take care of me. Almost two years now of saying that "I can't live like this anymore". Well what do you say after your tired of saying that for so long?! I don't want to cry anymore out of anger, I don't want to pity myself and be jealous of the world, I just want to be a part of it again.