My Illness

I was diagnosed with POTS when I was 14, but I have had it since I was 12 or 13. I pass out a lot and my stomach doesn't always work correctly. I have had a pic line, but it got infected with staff so we had to get it removed.
Highschool has been nearly impossible with this illness. I actually have to repeat my Junior year because I am too sick to go to school on a daily basis and my brain fog has gotten to the point where it is hard for me to read and I love reading. I used to make great grades and I used to feel smart, but now I feel stupid.

It has taken so many things away from me. I used to play sports, but now I can barely do a push up. I am also a musician. I write songs, sing, and I play guitar. I tried out for American Idol but didn't make it past the second stage because I looked "too tired". I have lost friends and boys don't want to date me because I'm sick and cynical. I'm not the cute "take care of me" sick. My own dad (a pediatric ER dr) doesn't believe me half the time when I say I don't feel well.
I've never been an outgoing person, but I have become a recluse. I don't know how to act around people anyway because I'm not good at socialization, but it has gotten worse. I hate leaving my house and I hate being in it at the same time. I don't talk about how angry and sad I am because I don't see the point. It's just frustrating.
Clb14 Clb14
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

I'm sorry you are going through this at the worst possible age ever! I remember high school and couldn't even imagine how you get through it. I hope things start looking up for you! :)