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What Am I?

My name is Jourdan. I'm usually a typical teenage girl. 16, a social butterfly. But no one seems to know who I really am behind my smiles and giggles. I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. One more problem to go in the book. I never knew how serious this condition was until I completely passed out going down the stairs and broke my ankle. My blood pressure stays at 70/40. My heart rate is extremely fast. Nothing I take is working. Sometimes I will sit in my room for hours and just cry. I constantly wonder why this is happening to me, and what makes me so different from everyone else. I have really bad depression as a side affect. When i'm upset, i'm very upset. I need help. I failed my school year. I just feel like i'm a freak. I eat salt right out of my hand to keep my heart rate up. Everyone says i'm dumb because my hair is blonde. I can't finish things I usually start. I cant do sports anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I am living.. I have zero energy to do anything. I have multiple blackouts a day. And no one seems to support me at all. I just feel so alone in the world.
Hevv13 Hevv13 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2013

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Hey, My name is Jace I have POTS also & know how you are feeling
my sickness is all the above and its hurt me every were , I have felt the same feelings
of depression and been there to the loony ben , lol , pleas I would love to talk to you any time, I stay up all night because my pots puts me one a f'd up schedule, I study physics and history to keep me going and I grow pretty plants and flora at my house , its really pretty in Florida . down to the base of the problem that I hate of
getting help because I go to a million doctors , that its a visit and they don't do anything but talk and for most its just about money ,Im chronically ill
, and theres no love man . I have study this evil syndrome and if you ever want info or a friend just reply and id love to chat with ya

I agree with you a 100% on the appointments. I feel like I'm just being taken from dr to dr with nothing really being solved. Like you, I stay up pretty much all night because the pain is so bad I can't sleep. Everything sucks with pots even when you try to look at the positive side