Dentist With Poor Boundaries

My dentist has given me pause. I'll begin at the beginning and begin by saying that last month I crammed years worth of dental work into two weeks.

I don't really have an excuse for putting it off for so long. I'm not afraid of dentists, or of needles and while working at the medical library I had great dental coverage.

I needed dental work for 2 drifting and infected wisdom teeth, a cleaning and cavities. I knew the wisdom teeth were drifting but I didn't know they were infected. They didn't hurt.

When a cavity started hurting I went to a new practice that's three blocks from my apartment. I like the offices since they're clean, have professional front desk staff, the equipment is state of the art and the practice is so close that I can walk home after visiting. And I don't have to wait too long to be seen.

The first time I was there I had A cleaning, cavities filled and the two dying teeth pulled. I even asked to keep them.
The second time I was there one of the dentist had just finished filling some cavities and I feeling a little beaten up. I was waiting for the Novocain to wear off some before I walked home when the owner of the practice comes in to talk to me. He comments that I took quite a beating (I have several cavities filled) and looks and me and goes "What's that?" while looking at my neck. Thinking it was blood from the horror show that had just played out in my mouth, I let him touch my neck to remove whatever it was and he produced a gold dot that was from my scarf. He actually put it in my hand. Dude, really? Why are you touching my neck? My teeth aren't on my neck. And two other people might have noticed that dot on my neck, the dentist that worked on me and the hygienist that helped her. They managed to let it be just where it was.

So, he started talking to me and asking me what I was going to do with the rest of my day and I tell him that I'd planned to work out and then clean my bathroom, but considering how I was feeling I was now thinking "probably not."
He goes "Cleaning the bathroom. My favorite activity. Can I help?"
I told him he could clean it while I supervised. He just smiled. And then proceeded an exchange was just off.

I asked him if her was Jewish since I noticed his practice was closed on Saturdays and he responded in part by saying he was "a part-time Jew." When I asked him what that meant,he said he was a full time partyier. Why tell me this? TMI boundary crossing. Please

At one point I'd lifted my arm and he tried to sneak a peek at my pits, and the whole time we're talking my arms were folded. Dude was not so good at reading body language. He asked how my neighbors were. Huh? I shifted in the chair and he just went ahead and lowered it without so much as a warning. I just looked at him as if to say "Seriously?"

Eventually the dentist that did my fillings came in and told him that I was just sitting there for awhile before I left and I'm glad that she did. When she did he'd been talking about how he'd just moved and that he forgot to order a desk and that he was worried his living room would end up crowded and about mysticism and his belief in the after life and chakras and saying that we're here (on the planet) to be the best that we can be. Apparently thought he was laying knowledge down on me. Whatever. When his coworker appeared he told her that were were discussing why we're here and she said that she didn't know and I said that I didn't know either and he looked surprised that I'd said that. It was a visible, physical reaction. Guess he figured he was telling me so I should now know? But how would he know if I think I know or not? He never even bothered to ask. I was just a sounding board, a warm body.

I even wondered if I'd said or done anything that could be construed as flirtations and the only thing that comes to mind is after my first visit I told him that "It was lots of fun" and smiled when I said it. And he said "Don't joke like that," but he kind of blushed when he said it. Maybe he though it was a double entendre, but I was only joking and being sarcastic and meant that it had been the complete opposite of my idea of fun and my way of making light of the beating my mouth had taken. I guess when you're a a self professed party animal, seeing sexual innuendo where there is none can come with the territory.

What was also interesting is that when I got home I noticed flecks of blood on a corner of my mouth. I should have rinsed after all that work, but the first time I was there and I did, half the water ended up dribbling down the side of my mouth. Plus I thought my mouth looked fine on the outside.
So he was sitting there talking to me when I had blood at the corner of my mouth and didn't say jack but took a decorative dot from my scarf off of my neck and checked for underarm hair?

There I was looking and feeling like death warmed over, Novocained, gums freshly battered, blood in my mouth, arms crossed and dude is conversating about all sorts of things that he shouldn't have been. And he had no real reason to be in there with me. Had I know that odd exchange was going to take place I would have skedaddled the second I had the chance. Stumbled home if I had to, out of it or not. Might have been better off too.
And he's the dentist that yanked the dying wisdom teeth out of my head. He had been rooting around in my mouth and now it seemed like he wanted to interact with it in other ways.

And I was all excited to find great dentists with new shiny equipment a stone's throw away from home. After all these years of neglecting my teeth what I finally get is a remove-the-dot-from-my-neck dentist. Dear Universe: Not very motivating. Not very much at all.

I liked taking advantage of the fact that I could walk home after a visit, and do so safely, which felt like a kind of a luxury. But noooo. I get and armpit-sneak-peeking-Buddhist/ Jewish-creepy-partying dentist with a thing for blood-in-the-mouth-chicks. Guess he slept through his "Ethics and the Professional" class. Hey, maybe that's part of the reason he became a dentist in the first place. And it occurs to me that me asking to keep my wisdom teeth was a weirdness that worked for him.

Because he clearly felt comfortable being inappropriate with me I find it hard to believe that I'm the first person he's done that to, so I looked him up online to see if there were any complaints about him, but I haven't found anything. If there are they'll probably be filed with some medical association or something and not online.
jadine jadine
Nov 10, 2012