Feeling Guilty And Helpless

I have been having major headaches since 2008 . At I have suffered from migraines since I was in 8th grade but in July of 2008 @ 25 years old, I had a mini stoke. Then started having severe headaches constantly. I have a headache every day, some are just alot worse than others. Since then my headaches have gotten worse and worse. I started being put in the hospital for 5-7 days every 3 or 4 months to now being in there for 10-14 days every 2 months. I have been to several doctors trying to get help. For the longest time they just kept saying that it was migraines. But for they finally decided that it was psedotumor. I have had 10 spinal taps, getting to be every few months. I have been on diamox for over 2 years and have not seen any help from it. I have severe headaches all of the time with uncontrollable vomiting. I even give myself shots at home for pain and nausea/vomiting just to try to stay out of the hospital. I am now waiting for a phone call from a neurosurgeon at Emory University in Atlanta to try to get a shunt put in because they do not do it where I live much because they don't really believe in them. But hopefully its got to be better than living this way with no life and having spinal taps every few months. I just feel so guilty because we are about to lose our home because of all of my medical issues and my husband having to take off of work to help me and tend to our 2 1/2 year old son. Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes I don't want to go on living because I don't want to live like this, but I don't want to die either! I just hate that my family has to go through all of this because of me!
lodmommy09 lodmommy09
26-30, F
Sep 7, 2012