What Caused My Ptsd

When I was just over 1 year old, my dad was murded in Ohio. It remains an unsolved case. On the plane ride back home I developed pnemonia and nearly died. My childhood is filled with traumatic memories. I have been mentally ill since birth.

Ive had 2 abortions and 1 miscarriage, and lots of abusive ex boyfriends. A few months ago my brother in law raped me and I am disabled from a suicide attempt. Another thing to live after drinking antifreeze and ruining your life.

My brother and sister are alcoholics and Ive seen them both near death and in the worst of situations. Luckily, no one close to me has died, but im terrified of when it happens. Its inevitable but im going to be in pieces.

tmarker86 tmarker86
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

You need a friend who will really help you. Some times in life it's easy to harm ourselves and try to forget about the past. The only one who can change for the future is you. The support you can get from a friend right now is me helping you. I can be a friend to you. I don't think you want to hear this but, it sounds like you need to move and start all over. Start fresh! Our thoughts and emotions overcome us and lead to some depression. It will always be their, but I think starting on a fresh level and change in friends and feel love would be a great start.

i am sorry to hear all this, and especially sorry about the suicide attempt. i wish more people realized that there is no guarantee you will die from it. there are people with severe brain damage from attempted strangulation/suffocation, people literally missing their faces from using the wrong load in a shotgun, people disfigured and blinded by a hand gun fires to far forward of the temple, people with all kinds of organ damage due to poisoning themselves (which i assume is your issue), and people crashing their cars into something and living paralyzed. there are no sure things in life, not even when you try and kill yourself. i hope things get better for you. hang in there.

That's everything I am always trying to say!! Thank you!

Friends can do a great deal toward making people happy or letting them hold on in the worst of situations. Reach out to people and please don't stay with any man who abuses you in the future because you deserve better and there are better guys out there, they're harder to find but they are out there. Best of luck.