Shared Psychosis

My story starts when I started dating a guy off the internet....He was psychitzophrenic. That should have been a major red flag but I guess i didn't really understand how bad that mental illness is until I moved in with him and after months of him being emotionally abusive and thinking he was a vampyre and a werewolf and a shaman and an alien I got pulled into the same psychosis. A lot of it is spiritual. Demons came into our apartment one day and they started to attack me. I couldn't see them but he could. (call me crazy but i'm telling the truth) He even took a picture of one and that was the scariest image I have ever seen especially because i Knew it was real. Anyways he was always beating me up in our psychosis and he even hit me over the head with a two by four....one day over the two and a half weekish span of our craziness we moved out into the woods to get away from the demons and we saw Ufo's. (yes i admit THOSe were probably hallucinations) and it was cool yet terrifying regardless of if they were real or not. We saw like a few hundred of them just fill up the night sky with purple flashing lights. then in the dark he made us go back to our apartment and i was so scared because it was dark and we were in the woods and I had gotten rid of my shoes because I thought they were cursed and when we were...ugh I hate saying it...we were running through the woods my boyfriend suddenly pushed me down and held me down on the forrest floor and wouldn't let me get up. I thought I was going to die out there so I cried out to God for help but God didn't show up...the spirit of death did and I ended up digging my way out of my own grave he tried to bury me in at the time.......The feeling of digging myself out of my own spiritual yet real grave is the most horrifying experience ever. It feels disgusting. I think I was partly possessed because I was screaming in this unearthly demonic voice that I cannot even come close to screaming like that now that I am saved by Jesus and not possessed. Also later in the week we were walking around town for like a whole day and night and we thought people were following us and it was really scary and we ended up walking along the side of I-90 freeway dehydrated and confused and seeing double with severe blisters on our feet. It got to the point where Honestly We could have died if the state patrol never picked us up...and near death experiences are really scary....One reason I never asked anyone for help in the first place while being abused is because I thought I was invisible and dead and just wandering the earth still. I would bump into people and yell at them but they had no reaction...I think those were hallucinations too...Anyways this has been long and I don't really know how to put into words how bad the feelings are but I'm obviously you guys all know the PTSD feelings just with different experiences....My body remembers everything about that time and i have flashback and sudden waves of saddness and fear sweep over my body and it's as if I am reliving it.
stephybear1990 stephybear1990
22-25, F
May 15, 2012